


dont you (forget about me) verse

by deansdandelionedhair, LassieandCassie



Category: Psych (TV 2006), Supernatural
Genre: Bisexual Shawn Spencer, Co-Written, Dean Winchester Has Self-Worth Issues, Dean Winchester Has a Cat Allergy, Dean Winchester Needs a Hug, Dean Winchester Whump, Dean Winchester is Bad at Feelings, Depressed Dean Winchester, Depressed Sam Winchester, Depressed Shawn Spencer, Domestic Boyfriends, Emotionally Hurt Dean Winchester, Emotionally Hurt Sam Winchester, F/F, Gay Dean Winchester, Genderfluid Character, Genderfluid Sam Winchester, Homophobic John Winchester, Hunter Dean Winchester, Hunter Sam Winchester, Hunter Shawn Spencer, Hurt Carlton Lassiter, Hurt Dean Winchester, Hurt Sam Winchester, Hurt Shawn Spencer, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Multi, One Word Prompts, Protective Dean Winchester, Shawn Spencer Angst, Supernatural season 3, Supportive Sam Winchester, The Author Regrets Nothing, Worried Shawn Spencer, dean is older than shawn, prompts used, psych season 2
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-03
Updated: 2020-10-28
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:15:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 27,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25679473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deansdandelionedhair/pseuds/deansdandelionedhair, https://archiveofourown.org/users/LassieandCassie/pseuds/LassieandCassie
Summary: what happens when a tired lone hunter meets a fake psychic detective? .... they start dating and slowly fall in love, of course!random moments of dean and shawn's lives spent together.co-written in different time-zones and zero sleep between the two of us.
Relationships: Burton "Gus" Guster & Shawn Spencer, Castiel/Carlton Lassiter, Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester, Donna Hanscum/Jody Mills, Juliet O'Hara/Sam Winchester, Shawn Spencer/Dean Winchester
Kudos: 20





	1. kansas lumberjack

**Author's Note:**

> prompt: "i really have no choice, do i?"
> 
> written by h.e.
> 
> words: 511
> 
> warnings: swearing
> 
> *posted and edited on august 2nd 2020*

"yaknow i just realized something"

26 year old dean winchester looked up across from where he was sitting atop a cleared off desk. he quietly ate a handful of soft pretzels from the small bag in his right hand, relaxed on his thigh.

 _"you're in santa barbara."_ 24 year old shawn spencer said, twirling in a circle with his desk chair. dean's face fell, a small amused smile pulled at his mouth as his eyebrows rose to his hairline.

"is that a fact, now?" dean teased his boyfriend, wiping his bottom lip of salt.

shawn stopped spinning, gripping his own desk when his vision spun. dean swallowed, getting off the desk across the large, wide open room full of random shit. he wiped his hands on his jean clad bowlegs.

"didnt let me finish. you're in _santa barbara."_ shawn said again, his voice very pointingly telling dean where they were.

the oldest winchester pulled a confused face, "okay. so im in santa barbara, the year is 20-something. did that last spin fuck up your already weird brain?"

shawn burst out laughing, pushing himself out of the chair and walking around to where his boyfriend was.

 _"you're in santa barbara!_ yet here you are, in jeans, flannel, boots ..." he pointed out, grabbing a hold of dean's long sleeve. dean rolled his eyes, pointing to shawn's chest.

"you're wearing flannel too"

 _"yes!_ but short sleeves, very soft t-shirt under it."

dean huffed a laugh, shaking his head. _"i'm a hunter, shawn."_

this time shawn rolled his eyes, beginning to pull off dean's long sleeved flannel.

 _"i know,_ but seriously. we walk uptown and people will be staring. _at me, of course_ , i _do_ have dashing hair and _very_ knee-weak smile. _you_ on the other hand, _all of this - no._ it screams _'leave me alone, im too serious'_. you arent a hunter here. you, are shawn spencer's boyfriend! _look the part!"_

shawn tossed the red flannel on the chairs that backed onto the psych office window. he rolled dean's short black sleeves up his muscled arms, smiling to himself when dean watched him carefully. 

he dropped to his knees, causing the winchester to back up. shawn laughed, rolling up dean's pant legs, cuffing the bottoms and blowing dust away from his boots.

"i look like i'm from _grease"_ dean said once his boyfriend was back to his feet.

"pretty awesome, right?" the spencer grinned his mega-watt grin, wrapping his arms around dean.

"awesome?" dean asked, looking at shawn.

 _"give me some time._ pretty soon this rock hard, kansas lumberjack, look of yours will stay on the road. _when you're in santa barbara, you'll be a total beach-bum"_ shawn snickered, laying his hand on dean's chest, leaning in for a small kiss.

 **"i really have no choice, do i?"** dean smiled back, kissing shawn again.

 _"no, not really."_ shawn winked, pinching dean's ass before he started running through the office doors.

"plus the hair needs more pineapple musk!" he yelled from outside the front door.

dean laughed, chasing after his boyfriend down the sunny boardwalk.


	2. Maybe I will let you down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written by N.
> 
> words: 835
> 
> warnings: depression, suicide mention.
> 
> *edited and posted on august 2nd 2020*

_""_  
_Everyone I know,_  
_Goes away in the end,_  
_And you could have it all._  
_""_

After crashing out from a long road trip, Dean found a voicemail on his phone when he woke up. He couldn't think of anyone other than Sam that knew that number, he played the recording.  
_"Playing message 1 of 1: "_  
_"It's Shawn... I need you... I think I might do something stupid. "_

  
It was only an hour ago he called, he needed to leave now, trying to keep calm he grabbed his coat.

"Sammy, I'm going to see a friend" Dean yelled to his brother in the next room.

  
"It's past midnight and you don't have friends" Sam wittily replied, while doing his hair in the bathroom.

  
"Bye Sam"

  
It was rare Sam didn't know something about Dean, but this, it was so much bigger than the normal stuff.

Dean was speeding down to the coast. After what felt like an hours he finally pulled up outside the Psych office, only to almost crash into a stupid blue Toyota.

He raced to the door and soon realized it was locked.

Without a second thought the eldest Winchester had kicked the door in.

  
"Spencer! Where are you?" He yelled out.

  
A quiet whimpering came from the room to his right. As soon as Dean entered, his eyes fixed upon the silhouette of a shaking body rolled up in the corner of the room.

"Shawn, I'm here, I'm not gonna leave you, I'm here now"

  
Lowering himself to the ground next to shawn, his mind started racing as to what he could do to help. He just pulled him in for a hug.

"It's going to be alright, I'm not leaving you, just talk to me." Shawn hadn't said a word yet. Dean wanted to say the right thing, but seeing him, like this, it completely broke him.

  
He needed Shawn to hear him. He pulled back from the hug and looked into his river blue eyes.

"Shawn, you need to listen to me, I'm not gonna leave you, please talk to me, what's wrong? What were you thinking of doing?"

  
"Dean, I...." His words were cut off.

  
Dean couldn't help himself, maybe it was seeing a new side of the psychic, the moonlight shining through his hair or just the desire he tried to hide so much. Before he knew what was happening, they were kissing, it just felt so... right - like this was what was meant to happen all along. The rough kisses he was known for had melted away and became gentle and soothing. Neither of them had known how much they needed it. Dean eventually backed away because Shawn was too vulnerable like this.

  
They propped themselves against the wall and stared into the dark.

  
"I can't do this Dean"

  
"Talk to me, Shawn"

"I can't keep it up, the lying - about my job, about my feelings and the fact that I met this flannel - clad guy who I knew was the one for me and then I haven't just left without saying goodbye.

  
Dean I can't keep going on like this, I can't take it any longer. You know what, there's not a single day that goes by that I don't think about your stupid smile, or your amazing hair or the way you manage to make everyone smile when you're being torn apart on the inside.

  
You keep telling telling me it's all going to be okay, but you know what, it's really fucking not, I've lost everything."

"Are you quite done yet, Spencer?" Dean waited a few seconds, the outburst had alarmed him but the passion, the anger he had shown him a whole new side.

  
"You're right, some stuff isn't going to be okay, but is, you and me, we can be something. So please never say you've lost everything cause I know I mean something to you. I'm here and I can protect you from those feelings."

Shawn's response was simply given by him squeezing Dean's hand. This tiny gesture meant more to him than he could ever put into words.

"Please don't leave me, Dean" Shawn murmured.

  
"I would never" It broke his heart to see the Cocky and arrogant man he knew feeling so hurt. "Right come on Shawn, we can't sit here all night. "

  
They both stood up and Dean started to peel off some extra layers, he wasn't used to the summer nighttime heat in California. He found Shawn curled up on the sofa, still shivering. After finding one of his discarded flannels, he went and wrapped Shawn up.

  
"Dean...."

  
"It's alright, you can keep it, I've got spare shirts"

  
"No Dean... Please don't leave me alone... I need you"

  
Without anything else being said, Dean went and lay down next to Shawn, being a fair bit taller he could easily wrap himself around Shawn. It was perfect.

  
Dean just lay there listening to the sounds of breathing. This wasn't how he expected the night to go, it was better.


	3. I want to get away....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just Shawn's thoughts about the future. Sorry nothing of Dean here, I wanted it as a bit of a backstory as to why Dean is so important.  
> Might add a similar thing for dean at some point.  
> Idk ask the other insomniac :)  
> Sorry this is so short  
> Written by N  
> Words: 457  
> Warnings: None?  
> *Posted 4th August 2020*  
> *edited august 5th 2020*  
> *removed summary 14th august 2020*

Between the girlfriend, a job with the local PD and all you can eat Pineapple, 24 year old Shawn had what most men could only dream of. It fell short when he realized how little it all meant to him. More than anything in the world, he craved freedom. To be able to get away from his dad and all the people who told him he would never amount to anything.

  
Sure, a lot of people thought he was mysterious. Never taking anything seriously but always willing to sacrifice himself. Most saw him as arrogant and attention seeking and ultimately he was. He craved the attention of someone. Anyone who could see that he wasn't throwing his life away and would actually be proud of him.  
  


Abigail, his girlfriend, was rarely happy with him - the job was always dangerous but it had stepped up recently. Once upon a time Shawn loved her but nowadays he just liked the company. He was craving the love and care he seemed to never find. More than that, he needed someone to listen - to be there when everyone else had given up. He loved California but Santa Barbara, well, it was his worst nightmare. He would always see his dad around, the pain he was trying so hard to put past him would start to bubble up.

  
On the other hand, if he left he would be loosing a lot, the people he cared about: Gus, Jules, even Lassie would always hold a piece of his heart. Gus and Shawn had been friends since they were born and very little could stop that. Somewhere deep down, Shawn was looking for more - the emotional connection or even just someone to talk to. There was also Jules, they had shared some special moments together. He really cared for her but if he wanted the SBPD to believe that he really was psychic, he couldn't get too close to an actual detective. Lassie, ever the skeptic, never truly believed in Shawn's ability but that never stopped him being impressed by the raw skill he occasionally showed. The awe went both ways - Shawn could never admit it: but the way he handled his guns, his bravery and the confidence - it was something that Shawn really loved in a guy.

They may have been in California but still, the idea of people trying to understand how his feelings weren't just limited to girls - it truly scared him. Because of this, nobody knew, he imagined some people had an incline but for now it was all he could do to hide it. Nobody understood his will to get away, away from everything and everyone that was holding him back. He was sure stuff had to change, wasn't he? 


	4. old senora's *very close* cowboys

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> honestly .... i have no words for this, other than i rewatched the old western episode of psych. because of course i did, westerns are the best !!
> 
> written by h.e.
> 
> words: 920
> 
> warnings: light swearing, and guns.  
> warning 2.0: theres very light homophobia, but its just suggested,,mlre than actually said or done
> 
> * posted & edited on august 5th 2020 *

"so, the hell do you need me for?" 

_"deeeeeean!_ _c'mon_ , we're playing cowboys. i already figured out the case, and since we arent even getting paid, why on _earth_ even tell lassie a thing? _huh!?"_

the winchester rolled his eyes, shaking his head before a tired smile broke out. "says the guy who gets to play _sheriff_. what about gus, he's just a blacksmith" 

as his name was said, gus looked up from his hand of cards, _"oh_ i told him he could kiss my blacksmith ass"

dean huffed a laugh, wincing when his aching side and shoulder flared up again.

after barely getting away from agent hendrickson alive, and _even being shot_ , dean drove to santa barbara once again for a getaway vacation. he hadnt planned it, but that one morning when he woke up with a note laying on the table from sam that simply just read _'out with ruby. call you later_ ', was more than enough.

sam was away and bobby wasnt picking up his phones. _so really,_ bullet wounds be damned. santa barbara would always be there, he was shocked shawn would always be there too, _but he was._ dean winchester lived a double life, but guessing sam probably did too, if he went out with ruby anymore, then _yeah._

"playing cowboys is _always_ fun, plus since you left your cowboy boots at my place _and i knew you were coming -"_ shawn brought dean out of thought.

he pulled out a small cardboard box and handed it to dean, who in-return opened it before laughing.

 _"really?"_ he asked, taking out the old western clothes and a large cowboy hat. 

"well _duuuh!"_ shawn smiled, gus nodding with a smug grin.

 _"wait_ \- how did you know i was coming here?" dean squinted at his boyfriend, letting him help with taking off his t-shirt without jarring his wounded shoulder too much.

"we were working this case and his shoulder started to hurt" gus pointed out, flipping his cards down in a row. dean made a face while looking at shawn, he turned as a thin button up was pulled across his wide chest.

"this fake psychic business is becoming real?" he teased. gus slapped another card down, dean noticing he had just beaten shawn in their small game of poker. shawn laughed, placing the cowboy hat on deans head.

_"put on them boots, ya outlaw! we shoot at high noon!"_

both dean and gus snorted with a shake of their heads. dean pulled off his sneakers, replacing them with his own cowboy boots. once he stood back up, gus handed him the holster to strap on.

the three men walked outside in the warm california sun, walking down the wooden walkway. "how long you been workin this case?"

shawn looked up at dean, their held hands swung between them. "almost a week, lassie hired us."

_"lassie? as in - carlton, not-believing-your-psychic-bullshit, lassiter?"_

gus laughed, "we're not getting paid, but i suppose being out here is still cool"

 _"see?_ at first you hated this, lassie was right in saying this place is good for you. of course, that was him and his memories, but i can understand why he loved it here"

dean smiled, pulling sheriff shawn closer to him and wrapping his arm around his right shoulder.

"why is your dad here, _and why_ is he talkin to stinky feet?" gus pointed out, shrugging over to the two men.

shawn raised his eyebrows, _"huh,_ i dunno. lets go find out."

 _"stinky feet?"_ dean muttered, leaning down behind shawn. gus did the same on the other side of the psychic, "its _stinky pete_ , but he never remembers"

dean quickly nodded, laughing.

"hey dad!" the younger spencer man called out, waving his hand.

"oh, hey! gus, dean" henry nodded towards the other two men.

the tall man in black turned around. dean and him stared at each-other for a few seconds.

_"bobby?"_

_"dean?"_

shawn, henry and gus shared a look, watching in shock as the winchester hugged the other man. the spencers and gus knew of his past, of what he did as a job with sam, and how horrible john winchester was. 

shawn's mouth moved silently, eyes lowered to look at his dusty boots, his fingers wiggling. he snapped loudly, his face beaming _"bobby singer! you must be dean's surrogate dad!"_

he joined the hug, leaving henry and gus to watched with amused looks. "from sioux falls, right?" henry asked when the hug broke apart, dean holding shawn close, his back to deans chest with his arm around shawns chest. their cowboy hat rims hit each-others.

bobby's smile fell into a sly grin, _"you must be shawn"_

 _"yes, yes i am"_ shawn smiled wider.

bobby turned to dean, his eyes twinkling. "which makes you the ' _shawn_ ' dean can never shut up about" 

dean's face went beet-red, him quickly turning away. shawn whipped around laughing, trying to turn his boyfriends face around. the other two snickered, seeing a whole new side to the winchester.

 _"c'mon bobby ... sam doesnt even know."_ he muttered, letting shawn cup his cheek when he faced bobby.

 _"yer brother aint yer daddy"_ the aged man reminded him, tipping his hat. dean shrugged, eyes going wide when shawn pulled his face down for a kiss.

_the sun got ten times hotter when the clock got closer to noon. gus cleared his throat, whistling and rocking on his feet._

_shawn pulled away, grinning up at dean._

_"theres gunna be a shootout, tex! its high noon!"_


	5. Devil's in the Details (and the cage)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I know this one isn't well written, most of mine aren't but this one is especially bad.  
> I'll rewrite it at some point.  
> Once again sorry its bad, I've had a bad couple of days, or months 😂

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written by N
> 
> Words: 485 (I thought it was longer, sorry) 
> 
> Warnings: I don't think anything really, mention of guns, light swearing
> 
> *Posted on August 5th 2020 *  
> * edited august 8th 2020 *

"So, that reminds me - the Chief wants you at the Halloween party. " Shawn recounted.

"Only her that wants me there?" Dean inquired cheekily.

"Maybe not, anyway who should we all go as?"

*Two weeks later *

As soon as they entered the station, Sammy started smiling, he found it hilarious that all these people were dressed up as vampires and werewolves, if only they knew. It was almost enough to take his mind off the stupid tights he was wearing to pass as Daphne.

After seeing a banquet table, Dean made a beeline towards the alcohol. As he got there, he saw the distinctive wig of Shaggy.

"Hey babe, the dog ears really suit you." Shawn giggled.

"Spencer, I'll get you back for this! "

"Course you will Dean. "

Their conversation was cut short by the sound of the dinging of glass. It came from over near the desks, standing on top of one of them stood Lassie.

"On behalf of the Santa Barbara Police Department, I wanted to give you all a huge thank you for joining us. Whether you're a detective, beat cop or a consultant, tonight, we're all friends, so let's make this a night to remember!"

The speech seemed uncharacteristically cheerful of Carlton but you could sense the slight sarcastic note to his voice. He wasn't the type of man to wear a costume but the boys had convinced him to at least wear an orange ascot. 

After the speech, Shawn had started to look around at the group of people he called family. Jules seemed to be taking to a very tall and bulky lady, then he really it was no lady, Sam was definitely looking the part. There had always been rumors about Daphne and Velma.... Then there was Dean, sitting on the bench near the entrance. 

"Scoobs, what's wrong?" Shawn asked, already knowing the answer. People weren't really his kind of thing, so once he was left alone it was easier just to leave the crowds. 

Before waiting for an answer, he told Dean to follow him, as they walked to Chief Vick's office. 

" Shawn, where the hell are we going?" 

After opening the door, Dean could see the answer to his question. 

If it wasn't for the Christmas lights draped around the walls, it would be pitch black. Everything had been moved around to make room for a tv and a sofa.

"Its perfect" were the only words Dean could find. 

Shawn dragged him over to curl up with him. At the press of a button, a classic Scooby Doo came on.

"I love you Dean. " Shawn quietly stated. 

"Get some sleep babe. " Responded Dean

It broke Shawn's heart to not get the same back but with the last few days he had, he couldn't turn down a nap. 

Once Dean was sure his boyfriend was asleep, he muttered "I love you too Shawn. More than you'll ever know. "


	6. shoebox

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> insomnia fuled this more than you know. as did music. this also went on longer than i thought it was going too, but i just went a little crazy with idea ... i love it.
> 
> written by h.e.  
> warnings: light homophobia, and the extreme cuteness that happens in this i suppose aside from the first warning.
> 
> words: 2,434.
> 
> * posted on august 6th 2020 *  
> * edited august 8th 2020 *

sam tied the towel lowly on his hips, dragging another towel over his mop of shaggy hair, stopping when he heard deans voice from the other side of the door.

"so, you tricked out that poor little blue car just to get intel?" 

sammy squinted, was dean talking to him? had he missed the entire conversation? did dean not notice he was in the shower? and what the hell _'poor little blue car'_ was he talking about?

dean laughed, soft and light. sam's eyes widened - dean never sounded like that. "well im really not surprised he almost killed you, it _is_ a company car after-all, _not that he hasnt reminded you of that countless times"_ the older winchester laughed again.

the bathroom door opened and sam strolled into the motel room, eyebrows raised high. the brothers shared eye contact for several seconds. dean's face completely went sheet white, almost as if he had forgotten sam had even been in the same motel as him. he slowly turned to his side, facing the wall instead of sam.

_"h-hey, uh, im g-gunna hav-"_

the person on the other side of the line laughed, much like dean had just been doing, their voice sounded like they knew _exactly_ what had just happened and were teasing the older brother.

"yeah, i'll uh, i'll call you later. when i get the chance"

sam cleared his throat when dean hung up. _"so_ ... who was that?"

"huh? oh. um." dean's eyes shifted around before he looked up at sam for a quick second, _"bobby"_

_he wanted to play that game, did he? well, sam could play that game too._

"what did bobby want, sounded like you were having a good talk" sam smirked lightly, grabbing his clothes, his eyes stared at dean, which only made his big brother more uncomfortable.

"wanted to check in, see where we were. im heading out to grab lunch, your usual, if i can?" dean deflected sam's pushing, pulling the keys from his leather jacket and heading towards the door in a shift motion only possible for dean winchester to achieve.

 _"sure"_ sam bit out, heading back to the bathroom to change and primp, blow dry his hair. dean nodded, leaving the room faster than the flash. sam's boxers and jeans were pulled on, buttoned and zipped up by the time the impalas low rumbling faded out into the distance.

he swept his hair back once it was dried, tugging his shirt on and returning to the motel room. dean's leather jacket was on the back of the one chair, and his duffel sat on the bed closest to the door. 

_the urge to dig through them had never been more strong._

of course, the brothers usually ended up sharing nearly everything with each-other but the way dean was hiding _whatever it was,_ was bugging sam half to death.

the way he would disappear and come back slightly tanned. the way he seemed more relaxed and dazed before tensing up after being back on the road. that one time he was wearing a short sleeved salmon pink shirt. sam pretended to still be asleep that time dean snuck back into the motel room after being away.

it was odd to see this new side of his stone-cold, tough big brother. and it didnt seem like he was getting into trouble, but it was concerning over how _often_ it seemed he was gone. like just after john died, both brothers had the small hunter funeral, _and after making sure sam was alright and safe, dean took off and didnt return for at least a week and a half._

 _okay, so sam was a snoopy kid brother, sue him._ he was curious, and if that meant digging thru pockets and making a mess of a duffel ....

the only thing in the jacket was a few wrappers for a pineapple flavored candy, some spare change and a diner receipt. sam flipped over the receipt, the writing was smudged and beginning to fade. 

"santa barbara?" he muttered to himself, holding the thin paper up the light, squinting at the thing. "what the hell?" at least that _sorta_ explained why dean was more tanned, his lighter hair and that there was sometimes sand on baby's floor-mats. _not that sam dared pointing that out._

he folded it back up and slipped it back into the pocket. next was the duffel. and while unzipping it he did really think that digging thru possible dirty laundry was a major turn-away, _he did it anyways._

there was hardly any dirty laundry. yet, sam barely had any clean. they hadnt washed their clothes in awhile, there _just wasnt_ a laundromat in miles anywhere they stopped. _and everything smelled like .... mango? fruits? pineapple?_

dean smelled like gun powder, and burgers, and bacon and cheap soap with some light musk, and sometimes booze. sam made a face, _since when did his manly big brother start smelling different, and why hadnt he noticed it sooner?_

suddenly sam's slender fingers brushed the bottom of the bag, hitting something wooden on the far left. his hands pushed clothes out of the way, pulling the small wooden box out and moving towards his bed behind him.

the box itself wasnt that large, or deep. it looked like something bobby wouldve had in his house, which is most likely who had made this. the yellow paint was bright, which made sam snicker quietly. a pineapple sticker was on the top with ' _santa barbara'_ painted under it.

 _"what the hell?"_ sam gasped, sitting down on the bed before he fell backwards, or passed out - _whatever happened first._ once the shock ended, he couldnt help the laugh and wide smile that bruised his cheeks with happiness.

on the inside of the lid a photo of dean and another man were kissing in front of a window, with _'psych'_ written in green bold letters. sam covered his mouth as he laughed more. it was shocking, and while he wasnt shocked, he was utterly ... _shocked._

it wasnt a secret that john hated anything offbeat. so when sammy figured out why dean cringed or looked ill whenever john went off a rant, _he never said a word._ which now, looking back, _was the wrong thing to do._ no wonder dean wanted to hide this, he probably thought sam would be disgusted. 

_sam felt horrible, he loved dean. always had, always will._ he shook his head, licking his lips and making a mental note to show dean that when he could. 

aside from the photo on the lid, the inside of the box had a bundle of other photos, some seashells, a few cards, more candy wrappers, some tickets, a pressed flower that was taped to the lid under the photo and a piece of paper that was folded neatly beside the photos.

sam wiped his hands on his jean clad thighs before picking up the photos. his smile only grew as he looked at them. he found writing on the back of them, although some photos had writing that was different than his brothers. messy like his, but the letters had different form and shape.

the top photo was of the other man sitting by the ocean, ice-cream in hand, a sunset clearly coloured his features, but sam could see the bright smile, the jawline, his slight sloped and greek shaped nose. the man's eyes were squeezed close, his laugh almost echoed in the photo alone. the back of it had dean's writing. _'shawn laughing at his own lame joke'_

sam snorted. 

_shawn._

_dean and shawn. shawn and dean._

the next photo was of shawn and another man, they had sunglasses on and were holding what looked like half eaten tacos. the photo was blurry, but still focused enough to see other details. 

the youngest winchester quickly noticed that shawn and dean shared some of the same features. the same haircut, although shawn's always seemed to be _almost model perfect,_ and deans was always a motel bathroom sink cut and messy _even with gel._ both of them also wore flannel, as shawn was wearing a short sleeved red flannel buttoned up with a grey shirt under it. _sam wanted to bet they had similar coloured eyes too._

 _'shawn and gus after a successful case'_ was scribbled in deans writing. sam made another face. case? were they hunters? that didnt feel right. he flipped to the next picture.

the outline of dean holding shawn close to him as they layed together was seen from the light beside them. the photo was dark, and again, blurry. whoever had this camera needed to clean the lense or get it fixed. sammy couldnt see their faces but it looked like the photo was taken from behind them, or from at least a doorway.

 _'who snores louder, dean or shawn?_ _\- taken by gus'_

different handwriting on this one. most likely gus.

dean and shawn stood in front of a large flat-screen, pointing at it behind their heads. gus off to the side, doing the same thing. sam held the photo up closer to his face, trying to see what was on the tv. the colour was more focused on the faces in the front, making the tv almost a whited out mess, but the shape of what looked like shawn and gus were seen. 

_'santa barbara needs more action, these nerds were on tv tonight!'_

sam burst out laughing when he read dean's caption. were the other two guys important to the city then? 

seashells smacked into each-other, making sammy look down at them in the box. one of the small cards caught his eye. he layed the photos he'd seen down and picked the card up. 

_ Psych: Private Psychic Detective Agency. _

_ Shawn Spencer and Burton Guster. _

_ Santa Barbara, California. _

sam's eyebrows met his hairline. _so, dean was crushin on a psychic?_ that is, if shawn was the psychic and not gus. but seeing how both he and gus showed themselves in the few photos sammy snooped on, shawn was probably the psychic. he chuckled again, tucking the card back in the box and went back to the photos.

a tall man with salt and pepper like hair, stood in a black suit, his side profile showing as he was off to the left side. another tall man, bald, was in a white lab coat with a very loud tie, was hugging dean to his side. dean, who was laughing, dressed in that salmon pink shirt. shawn was next to him, also laughing. a young woman with long blonde hair had her head tossed back, clearly laughing too. 

_'lassie, woody, dean, shawn and jules. after a long night working'_

that same handwriting was back. had to be gus'. sam was impressed, this jules woman was _beautiful_. he smiled sadly when she reminded him of jess. _and this lassie, didnt seem like a fun kinda guy._ but it still surprised sam that _dean_ was even a _fun kinda guy._

the second to last photo was of yet another bald man, and dean holding beers up. the background showed that they were sat in a house of some sort. the other man was in a very loud hawaiian shirt that nearly blinded sam, and dean was in a light blue shirt, tight across his chest. the two of them were smiling. sam smiled back seeing dean so relaxed.

_'dad and apple. swappin war stories and talkin fish'_

the writing that nearly matched deans had to be shawns. sam hummed, his brows met each-other in the middle at the name _'apple'_ , but besides the fact. _he hoped shawn's dad was better than john._ but judging how relaxed the photo was, _it was like he and dean got along famously._

the last photo made sam want to pack everything up and drive dean to santa barbara himself and make him stay there forever. _maybe he'd do that later today, after lunch though, he was hungry._ he was sure dean was too.

 _turns out, shawn was short._ not too short, but at least a head shorter than dean. sam had to smirk when he saw shawn's hazel eyes. he was right, they were similar to deans green ones. 

the photo had shawn tucked under deans chin, both of them looking at whoever took the picture, deans arm wrapped protectively around shawn. they both smiled with no teeth showing, soft and gentle. it was a total other side of the oldest winchester, and it made sam's heart hurt. 

_'i need you, the beatles'_

before the tears were going to break out, which was sure to happen when sam blinked and his eyes blurred and felt wet, he put the pictures back in order and back in the box. he finally noticed the written note had _'apple'_ on it. wanting to see one last thing, sam picked it up and unfolded it.

_'apples are green like your eyes. but apples are gross. i like pineapples. and you are a fineapple. get it? a FINE-APPLE. you are the fineapple of my eye._

_im not good at poems._

_i love you, stay safe._

_hugs and kisses'_

the rumble of the impala pulling back into the parking lot, got sam off his ass quick. he made sure nothing was out of place in the box before carefully putting it back in deans duffel, zipping it up and grabbing his laptop and jumping back on his bed.

 _"i come baring the fruits of the god"_ dean called out, closing the motel door with his foot when he entered the room, waving white paper bags. "francis, got you some rabbit food"

sam snorted, rolling his eyes. _"bite me"_

dean smirked, _"i just might"_

sam wanted to hug him, he just found out deans biggest secret. what he feared and what he didnt want to lose. and sam just couldnt help himself, he closed his laptop and made his way over to dean, taking his salad container out of his big brothers hands.

 _"hey, so get this._ i was reading about some cool museums. and its kinda a far drive, but theres this cool one in _santa barbara._ and theres no cases anywhere, we could always leave if one comes up, _but we could use a vacation, right?"_ sam baited him, smirking lightly.

dean tensed, but a small shy smile played with the edges of his mouth. his eyes twinkled just the tiniest bit. he looked up at sam, who dropped his smirk before he saw, and slapped his puppy-dog eyes in its place.

_"uh, yeah, sure. why not, ya big nerd"_


	7. I was broken from a young age

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't really know why but this writing seems kinda a different style to my normal stuff... Its probably a mixture of insomnia and the utter lack of mental health. Somehow every day is worse but that probably won't stop me writing so yeah.
> 
> Written by N  
> Warnings: light swearing, anger, I don't know its kinda hinting at previous abuse?
> 
> Words: 739  
> *written in the very early morning of 7th August*  
> * edited august 8th 2020 *

Dean had been driving for hours, he couldn't stop. By the time he was in Kentucky he needed to stop and take a break. He pulled into the first bar he passed, he cut Baby's engine out and took a second to get his head straight.

It must have been past midnight at this point, that couldn't stop the residents of Lexington from drinking and dancing. As he opened the door, the overwhelming stench of old beer filled the air. He cast his eyes around the bar and saw it was a good old fashioned bar. The dimly lit seating areas, sticky floors and the pool table with peeling felt - it all added up to make for what could have been the perfect dive bar. If only Dean was in the state to take it in.

After walking up to the bar, he took a seat at an old oak stool.  
"Double whiskey" he addressed no one in particular.  
A young, blonde woman (who would have been totally Sam's type) poured and served his drink. A small nod was the best thank you he could muster.

He was still wearing the short sleeved flannel Shawn had given him. That familiar smell was both comforting and heartbreaking to Dean. All he felt was guilt, he shouldn't have run. But then Shawn crossed a clear line, well at least to him it was clear.

They had only been arguing about a job, it was stupid. If he had been telling the truth with Shawn in the first place then none of this would have happened. For over a year now, they had been hunting together, so for Dean to go off on his own, it had pissed off Shawn. All it had been was some werewolves - Shawn was busy anyway.

Dean was angry - it was only one job, and once Shawn had bought it up, he couldn't resist biting back. Getting angry was the only option he knew. He tried so hard to not be like John, but he had definitely inherited the temper. 

During the argument, Dean just flipped, he had got up in Shawn's space and just relentlessly yelled at him. Shawn was the most confident and witty person he knew, but even he couldn't take it. 

He didn't know which was worse, trying to deal with how angry he had gotten, or what had happened after. 

****  
Shawn was alone in the psych office, it was cold and dark but it was what he deserved. He had hurt Dean more than he could ever comprehend.

The shots he had didn't blur everything out like he had hoped. He knew what happened and he knew what he did. Still, it all felt like a a weird dream - if only it had been.

He was trying to recount what had happen to lead him to where he was. He had felt so many emotions at the time, now he just felt empty. He needed his man back.

It had all started when he found Dean's journal. He was just looking to remind himself of how well the last job went. Then he saw one that he was sure he didn't remember. As it went on he saw that Dean had been the only hunter listed.

Shawn was scared.... and angry. Sure Dean was strong and able to protect himself - that didn't mean he shouldn't have had someone watching his back, even if it wasn't Shawn.

Once Dean had come back from the office he just had to inquire. Dean had been defensive and downright rude. A few questions later, Dean had completely turned. He was yelling and it had scared Shawn. It was a side he had never seen, one he never wanted to see.

He couldn't take the sheer torrent of nonsense Dean was saying. Eventually Shawn couldn't hold back and pushed Dean away. If it was anyone else he could have gotten away with it, but Dean wasn't just anyone else. He was damaged, it had taken him ages to be okay with Shawn touching him, even just to hug. This was one surefire way to throw it all away.

Shawn was still just sat there, now shivering - it could have been the cold but more likely the rising up of emotions he was trying to hide.

What happened it wasn't right, but any outsider could see, it wasn't anyone's fault in particular - they had both crossed the line. 


	8. whiskey in mind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the other title for this should be "count all the 80s references" because really .... 😂 
> 
> honestly, there aint words for this. i watched old shows and movies again recently and listened to christian kane a lot again ... and well, here we are. 
> 
> i aint sorry either.
> 
> written by h.e.
> 
> warnings: smut, death mention, cheesey as fuck 80s references, and swearing.
> 
> words: 935
> 
> * posted on august 7th 2020 *  
> * edited august 8th 2020 *

the front door of the psych office shut with a loud bang, the windows began to rattle as the stereo boomed.

dean slammed shawn against the wall, the plaster cracked from the force. their mouths moved fast, shawn's fingers tangled in dean's slightly longer hair, his legs wrapped tightly around his boyfriends waist. 

_"wait, wait."_ shawn gasped out, his voice pitched higher but soft. dean pulled away, his strong arms holding shawns smaller body against the wall still. _"your dad just died, a-are ... are you sure .. you really wanna be doing this?"_

the winchester's eyes were bright and shiny, even in the dark of the office. unfocused, probably from the shots he had earlier. his face was hot, lips were shiny and wet, and beginning to swell. shawn stared down at him. his own face warm, lips already swollen.

he was the first to attack dean after their short staring contest. lips smashed together, the psychic's hands ran down the hunters neck, grabbing and clawing at his back. dean growled low in his throat. 

_his tongue swirled in shawns mouth, his teeth tugged on the pineapple flavored gum, pulling it out and moving away to spit it out over his shoulder._ shawn gasped out, panting quietly when deans teeth ghosted down his neck. he tugged at deans longer hair, his thumbs brushing the tips of his ears.

dean pulled shawn off the wall, his hands groping shawns ass thru his jean pockets. the younger man moaned in his ear, digging short nails into wide shoulders. the psychic was tossed down on the couch under the front window, the hunter lowered himself above him.

 _the stereo got louder as their lips reconnected._ dean's rough fingertips tickled down shawns body, rough palms shoving the vintage scooby-doo shirt up. shawn moaned out again, biting his lip and pressing his own palms against deans belly. fingers pulled at the tight black shirt, moving it up slowly.

sweat started to form on the both of them, their shirts _nearly_ ripped off and thrown across the room someplace. deans knee pushed up against shawns hard on, _earning a pretty moan from the pretty man under him._ his mouth sucked down his neck, hands trailing up and down his soft skin. he chuckled low and deep when his hot tongue swooped across shawns hard and sensitive nipples, earning a head toss back.

 _the taste of whiskey on dean was making shawn dizzy, but the taste of pineapple from him tasted so damn good on dean._ he made his way back up his chest, their mouths and tongues couldnt get enough of each-other. shawn reached up, pulling at deans large belt buckle. he felt his boyfriend smirk into a new kiss.

 _"easy there, cowboy"_ his thick voice whispered, shawn shivered, his hands pushing lazily on the rock hard chest with the dark tattoo above him.

dean kissed his way down shawns soft skin, nipping at the light fat he had on his belly. shawn couldnt help the little laugh that escaped him, causing dean to smile and continue to kiss. he bit at places, hands making quick work of removing jeans and boxers.

the clothes flew across the room, landing near their shirts. deans pants were next, and shawn moaned lowly after finding out _dean had gone commando for the day._ after a quick switch around, shawn had his knees bent, feet hanging off the edge of the couch and touching deans opened knees. 

the hunter wrapped his arms around shawns waist, burying his face in his chest, his left hand cupped his ass, right hand pushing on his lower back. shawns head was tossed back again, arms hugging dean to him. _he slowly lowered himself down on dean, moaning louder._

his hard on brushed against deans scarred chest, pushing on his own stomach. the moans and grunts lost in the pounding music. 

_"d-dean... dean"_ shawn choked out, his body shuddering and jerking as he got closer, tugging on the mans darker hair. 

_"shh, its okay. i got you. i got you"_ dean grunted hard, kissing tanned skin, hands sinking into soft hips. _"i got you, maverick. you're safe"_

the same song replayed again, their hot breathing mixing together as their noses touched, lips inches apart. dean leaned up, kissing shawns forehead, hands caressing shawns tummy.

moonlight and starlight casted in from the window. the word on the window made a shadow on the floor across from them, covering where their clothes had made themselves a home. the room was quiet. shawn snuggled under deans chin, his fingers created a pattern of connecting freckles and scars on his boyfriends wide chest, tracing his tattoo.

 _"if im maverick, that would make you goose"_ he whispered, breaking the silence.

dean blinked his eyes open, his hand stopping the motion of massaging the younger mans upper back. he quietly laughed when shawns words caught up to him.

_"maybe even iceman. val kilmer and tom cruise did have a lot of sexual tension in that movie ..."_

dean hummed, kissing shawns messy hair. he looked up, smiling tiredly at the hunter. they kissed softly, dean kept his eyes closed when they broke apart. shawn snuggled closer, his voice getting heavier as he whispered again.

_"you're more like macgyver"_

"oh _really_?" the winchester teased, hands smoothing shawns back.

"macgyver, maverick and christian kane make a wonderful night"

"go to sleep, weirdo"

_"you can do more with a gun than just fire it"_

_"shawn."_

" _fine_. goodnight. i love you, dean."

"i love you too"

_"....... i feel the need ...... the need, for speed"_

_"shawn, i swear to fuck ..."_


	9. To make you feel proud..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've almost his 100 hits so I actually wanted to give a shout out to my big bro whos doing a lot of the writing on here. He's convinced me to try and do all this.  
> I tried to make this a cheerful chapter cause yeah I'm not doing so great but I want other people to be.  
> Written by N  
> Words: 674  
> Warnings: light swearing maybe? There's a kiss, idk if that's a warning but yeah enjoy
> 
> posted august 9th 2020  
> edited august 11th 2020

There were two sides to Dean - the rough and tough hunter side that everyone thought a Winchester should be and then the side that only one person ever saw. Shawn's side.

So far, this year, the weather had been awful. Sweltering heats during the summer and storms soon after. It was now September and everything had begun to calm down.

To make the most of the opportunity, the boys had decided to go on a walk. Shawn picked the spot, all Dean needed to do was turn up.

It wasn't the kind of place you expected to find in California, let alone Santa Barbara. Being completely secluded by the trees, there was nobody around for miles.

The actual area was beautiful - emerald green grass outlining the clear and bouncing with life lake. You could see turquoise dragonflies hovering above the lake along with golden carp sunbathing on the surface. Clearly the wildlife was rarely disturbed.

Mahogany brown leaves crinkled as they walked. Dean couldn't think of anywhere he would rather be - it was only fitting he was there with the most beautiful man.

The air smelt fresh, a far cry from the thick city California air Shawn was used to. The whole place really was an amazing change from what they had both become used to.

He caught Dean looking at him and immediately smiled. Something about Dean was different to most people. They were perfect for each other.

Shawn stopped walking and turned to face Dean.

  
"What is it you're doing, babe?"

  
"Nothing" Shawn replied.

  
By this point he had leaned in. They were only a few centimeters away from each other and yet it seemed that was Shawn's point.

  
"To answer your question, we're just talking... Very closely."

Dean couldn't help himself. Shawn's soft lips really did fit perfectly with Dean's. Between them it always felt electric.

They pulled apart to continue walking. Shawn's taste lingered in Dean's mouth. To Dean it had become a drug - he needed Shawn. It was undeniable.

Dean wasn't the only one who enjoyed it. Shawn felt amazing too. To be loved by a Winchester, it was like nothing else.

Both of them were truly happy together. Life wasn't easy - for either of them - that didn't matter anymore. Together they were strong, stronger than they could have ever imagined.

As they walked on-wards, Dean had started to think about the future. He had never been one to settle down, but maybe that's why he craved it so much.

Dean had started to build a life here. Shawn was everything to him and no matter what it took, they would make it work. They could get married, buy a house, maybe even have some kids. It was what he needed. 

Santa Barbara had began to feel like home to him. He helped out the SBPD, this meant he could meet some of the people closest to Shawn. Bobby was often staying local now so he wouldn't be loosing that much. 

The only downside was that he couldn't hunt around these parts. Working so close to the police it seemed too dodgy. But Shawn never minded traveling so it was easy enough to deal with. 

Shawn put his hand in Dean's - this made him concentrate on the walk instead of what could be. This whole thing - them being together - it just felt so right. 

As they came round the corner, a bench came into sight. Starting to walk towards it, Dean saw initials carved into the slats. The brown paint had started to peel off revealing a dull undercoat. 

They sat down wordlessly and just looked out onto the lake. It was truly beautiful and neither of them wanted to lose this moment. 

  
Dean snuggled his head into Shawn - being almost 6 inches taller, it was difficult for Dean to do this. Shawn didn't mind. All he wanted was to hold his baby. 

Shawn quietly started singing an old Heather Small song. 

""   
If you make that break for freedom   
What have you done today, to make you feel proud?   
"" 


	10. sam winchester has seen some things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in honour of this passing 100 reads, which excites my kid brother more than yall think 😉
> 
> so, yeah. heres my surprise. just a dorky, kinda sad, but kinda humourous take on sam finally meeting the santa barbara crew. this took a while over a few days because insomnia, and just crashing without knowing until i wake up ... but anyhow 😂
> 
> surprise !!
> 
> PROMPT: "have you been scarred?"  
> "today? no. overall? yeah - probably"
> 
> written by h.e.
> 
> takes place after 'shoebox'
> 
> warnings: nude scene, homophobia mention, throw up mention, swearing.
> 
> words: 1,806.
> 
> * posted on august 11th 2020 *  
> ** edited august 11th 2020 **

in the full week and a half since sam had snooped, _and found deans secret life,_ he only got angry that he hadnt been able to get dean to santa barbara.

he'd tried the museum route, _but of course_ \- a hunt just _had_ to come up, _didnt it?_ he'd been _so close_ to getting dean where he felt he belonged. but they were currently holed up in a dingy motel in yuma, arizona, _so sam was close_. and that counted, _right?_

dean was in the shower, and sam officially had _zero_ clean clothes anymore. he could just borrow dean's, but he was wider across the shoulders and that would just stretch the shirt and flannel too much. _plus he didnt think dean knew about the pineapple smell the clothes held_ , but then again - _maybe he did._

a cell phone started to ring. 

sam sighed, pushing his shaggy hair out of his eyes, putting his laptop to the side and reached for his cell. _only to discover it wasnt his phone that was ringing._ the shower was still going heavy as sam let his eyes drift around the crummy room. he bit down on his bottom lip before growling under his breath, crouching down to reach the cell in the brown leather jacket across from him.

 _'gus'_ flashed in large bold letters across the screen.

the youngest winchester nearly dropped the phone, swallowing hard. he raised his head above the table, fearing that dean could _possibly_ be standing right there watching him. _what was to fear?_ dean didnt know sam knew. so, _really_ , sam _wouldnt know_ who gus is. _it would be fine._ but come to think of it, sam didnt think deans other life phoned him. _he phoned them._

just as sam got to his feet with the phone, it stopped its manic ringing. he huffed out a heavy sigh, sweat beginning to form around his neck and down his back. he sat back down, pulling his laptop back in front of him and put the phone next to his. 

_'juliet'_ was the next name to flash on the screen. the last call ended not even a full minute ago. sam suddenly got a wave of panic drive through him. maybe he should get dean, but _who was this juliet person?_ the photos in the secret box never had a _juliet_. they had a ' _jules_ ' ... _could be the same person._

the cell stopped again. sam grabbed it up, getting to his feet once more. ' _henry_ ' was the next name in an shorter amount of time between gus and juliet. sam pushed open the bathroom door. 

_"dean!_ this is your third phone call, _answer your damn cell!"_ sam yelled over the water, covering his eyes with his right hand and holding his older brothers phone out in his left.

 _"damnit sammy!_ just tell them im not here or something!" dean yelled back, the shower curtain rustling.

"a gus, juliet and now henry are calling. it seems import-"

the shower curtain was shoved away and a wet hand snatched the phone out of sams. not wanting to see a thing sam knew would scar him for life, he quickly turned and jogged out of the bathroom, the door halfway closed behind him. 

_"he what? is-is he okay? what happened?"_ deans worried filled voice was heard. sam turned on his heels and pushed his way back into the bathroom.

 _"ugh jesus christ dean!"_ he yelled, covering his eyes. dean still stood completely naked in the tub, the water still running. dean pulled the phone away from his face, throwing the bar of soap at sams chest, _"shut up sammy"_ he bitched.

the water was turned off and the phone was against his ear again, _"s-sorry, uh yeah. we're in yuma, arizona. um ... it-it ... yeah. k-keep me updated, on the way. y-yeah ... thanks henry."_

sam handed dean a towel, removing his hand when he heard a step out of the tub. "you okay?" he asked the dumb question, he frowned when he took in dean.

his brother's hair still had traces of shampoo in it, his face half covered in soap. his skin was almost snow white, standing out in the ugly brown-ish bathroom. dean looked like he was about to puke all over the room, given the chance. 

he shook his head, reaching out to hold onto the sink, swallowing hard as his shoulders tensed up. sam grabbed a hold of his left arm, trying to hold him up if his knees gave out. _"s-sa-sammy .. s-san-ta b-barbara"_

sam wiped dean's face of soap, pulling his brother out of the bathroom, kicking the bar of soap up into the tub. 

"we have to go to santa barbara?" he asked, sitting dean on the closest bed. dean weakly nodded. 

the hunter made quick work of shoving his shit in his duffel and backpack, tossing dean some clothes and running out to the impala. when he returned, dean was in jeans, his boxers and socks still on the bed, his shirt tangled around his head and arms. sam helped him pull it on, shoving the left over clothes in deans duffel.

**_~~~~_ **

the drive was supposed to be over five hours. _sam did it in less._

without grilling him _too much_ , sam had gotten dean to confess about his secret life. although, most of it was mumbled with the hopes _it was just a dream_ or with the hope that sam would either _forget_ or _shut the fuck up._

as it turns out, shawn had figured out the bad guy in the case they had picked up, only to get himself kidnapped by said bad guy. jules, gus and henry all phoned dean within minutes of getting _'the call'._

dean was beside himself, and sam never wanted to take him away from his santa barbara family the second they got there, _with shawn safe and alive too._ he got the oldest of them to pull out the wooden box from his duffel, letting on that he had never seen it, smiled sadly when dean mumbled while explaining the contents of the box.

an older man, that sam had pinned to be henry was standing outside the steps when the impala rolled up. dean took a hold of the box, running over to the man while sam shut off the car, taking the keys and getting out. henry hugged dean, patting his back gently.

_"c'mon, they're almost here, lassiter and jules just called it in"_

dean nodded, some colour returning to his face. he looked down at the box, turning around slightly to watch as sam climb the steps behind them. henry raised a brow, looking between them.

_"henry .. this, um .. this is my kid brother, sammy"_

the man and sam shook hands, and sam couldnt help but to smile. the three of them walked into the station, another man ran up to them and hugged dean. sam took a quick sweep of him with his eyes, pinning him down as gus.

a woman with short blonde hair came next, talking lowly to dean, both of them nodding every once and a while. finally dean around to face sam, "this is, gus. shawn's best friend and business partner .. and - and this is chief karen vick." 

sam shook hands with everybody, smiling wider as they spoke to him. it was _no wonder_ dean loved them. in their lives there was only a handful of people, here in santa barbara there was an _entire police station and city_ of family. it still felt awkward, the winchesters being wanted by the fbi, yet everyone here was smiling like they had no idea. _maybe they didnt._

there was yelling from outside, slowly coming inside near the main entrance. the tall man with salt n pepper hair walked in, another man in handcuffs. _lassiter_. dean's breath caught in his throat, sam held onto his shoulder. the night air smell from outside felt thick and muggy. _inside suddenly didnt feel as good either._

the other blonde woman came in next, another man in handcuffs in front of her. she passed him to lassiter, him taking both men down the stairs on the other side of the station with other officers. she sadly smiled, hugging dean herself.

 _"thank goodness you're here"_ she murmured. dean patted the back of her head, nodding slowly. _"he's okay. mcnab's bringing him up. he's okay, dean, he's okay"_

shawn trudged in next, his hair flat, tired bags under his eyes, face and jeans dirty, his shirt wrinkled and dirty too. mcnab walked beside him, making sure he didnt trip on his undone shoe laces, or spill his pineapple smoothie.

_"shawn!"_

the 25 year old looked up, his eyes going wide. _"d-dean!"_

mcnab took a hold of the smoothie as shawn took off towards his boyfriend. sam nearly fell backwards when dean pushed him, going to close the distance between them.

 _dean caught shawn with ease when the younger man jumped, each of them werent letting go anytime soon._ henry hummed quietly, giving the two a moment before he and gus stormed over to smother shawn themselves. jules made her way beside sam, smiling up at the taller winchester.

"you look like dean" she pointed out, her arms crossed over her chest.

"im his kid brother" sam said, looking down at her. finding her even more beautiful than in the one picture he'd seen.

 _"ah - you must be sam!_ nice to _finally_ meet you" she grinned, the two shaking hands. she looked over at shawn and dean, seeing how they still stood holding one another, she and sam made their way to lassiters desk to talk.

dean put shawn down on his feet, holding his dirty face in his rough hands. _"god, you're such a fucking stupid idiot"_ he whispered, weak smiling pulling at his relieved face.

 _"yeah, well ..."_ shawn trailed off, leaning closer to dean's taller body.

_"such'a fuckin stupid moron. you, dumb bastard, worried me half to death, you fuckin little shi-"_

shawns lips smashed into deans, a quiet laugh echoed in the kiss from both of them. dean held shawn closer, tugging the blanket around him tighter.

 _"if being kidnapped solved a case, got you here for awhile, and lets me finally meet sammy, then ... so worth it."_ the psychic whispered, kissing his hunter again.

 _"sam needs clean laundry"_ the hunter whispered back, kissing the psychic.

_"on it. but first, shut up and kiss me. i deserve another"_

_"dont have to tell me twice"_

sam's eyes widened from the other side of the station, earning a laugh from juliet. she quickly turned his head back towards her, his face burning hot.

_**"have you been scarred?"** she laughed_

_sam shrugged awkwardly, his smile crooked on his blushing face._

**_"today? no. overall? yeah - probably"_ **


	11. I'm all alone, tongue tied and twisted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This ones also bad, seems to be a trend with mine. Sorry for the long chapter title - I've been listening to a Steven Tyler song and damn it's good.  
> Written by N  
> Words: 511  
> Warnings: Swearing, heavy drinking, suggested PTSD  
> *Posted 14th August 2020  
> * edited august 14th 2020 *

Shawn got a dirty look from Lassie as he picked up his phone. Anyone apart from the head detective was under strict instruction to keep their phones on silent.

"Shawn, hey its me" Dean hurriedly said.

  
"Babe, what code?" Shawn asked, sensing the urgency in his boyfriend's voice.

  
They had started to use colour codes for picking up the phone at work. It saved time. Yellow meant a date tonight, silver meant there was a new case, the list went on..

"b-bb-blue"

Shit, that meant Dean needed Shawn home now.

  
"Just hold on. I'm coming now." Shawn practically shouted this. Dean had been staying at Shawn's apartment for a few weeks now.

  
At least Shawn was allowed to drive the Impala - he could get home in half the time. Shawn fumbled to find his keys and started jogging to the car.

"Spencer, whatever you're doing must be worth a hell of a lot more to you than a job." Lassie was pissed but all Shawn was thinking was that Dean did matter more. Nobody else got it, but Dean mattered so much more than anything.

The ride home was too long. He didn't know what he going to be walking into. If it was actually an emergency, Dean would have said code red. With Dean though, he was always on the edge. If he needed someone, it was an emergency.

  
By the time he for free o the door, his hands were shaking uncontrollably. As he walked in the overwhelming stench of cheap alcohol was everywhere. Dean was sitting on the floor surrounded by empty bottles. He was now on to the beer - clearly not the first option. He grabbed himself one and went to sit next to his boyfriend.

Shawn started watching him for a bit. He took a sip. Pulled the bottle away from his mouth and just looked at it for a few seconds - almost smirking.

Dean never talked when he was like this. It was probably something he learnt from John. Shawn had never met John but he knew enough, both of the horrific stuff he did to Dean but also of how self destructive he was. Dean never deserved any of what happened. Sam probably didn't either.

When Dean needed to talk, all it meant was that he didn't want to be alone. Shawn understood this and always made time. He put his empty hand in Dean's to comfort him.

After about half an hour, Dean wanted to talk. "Shawn, can I tell you about something?"

  
"Of course babe" Shawn replied, not even skipping a beat. It was surprising that Dean would actually want to talk but even just the tiniest thing was a big step.

"I've been getting these memories... flashbacks I suppose, of everything that happened. Please Shawn, I can't deal with it."

  
"Dean, listen to me, your dad's not here - he can't hurt you. It's only me and you, right here, nothing's going to happen to you."

Dean just looked at Shawn and just hugged him. He couldn't let go. He needed Shawn


	12. 9 lives and the first time dean met buzz mcnab and karen vick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> been up since 4 AM rewriting this ... its now 9 AM ... chuck bless for insomnia, said no one ever ...
> 
> karen vick is also the total mom figure dean never had, just sayin ...also yeah, my titles are always long. thats my jam, yall. 
> 
> you remember the psych episode "9 lives" where shawn basically carries a cat around the entire episode, from season one? yeah well, i rewatched it. then remembered dean had a cat allergy. and since psych - season one, would be around the time dean and shawn first started dating ...
> 
> dean meets new people, and shawn learns deans cat allergy. i also cut out some major spoilers for the episode - so yall just have a few.
> 
> move along peeps.
> 
> written by h.e.
> 
> words: 2,590.
> 
> warnings: suicide mention, its based after an episode, after-all. light blood mention, weight talk and a dead body .... and thats seriously it, im sure.
> 
> * posted on august 14th 2020 *  
> * edited august 14th 2020 *

_**wednesday**_ \- the winchesters finished a hunt that took a group of werewolves taking over a small town, _out_. they drove to bobby's to rest, and heal their new wounds.

 _ **thursday**_ \- sam had been mother-henning dean to _death_. of course, dean's chest had _nearly_ been ripped completely open and his heart almost torn out. _but did sam really have to hover as much as he was?_

thank _god_ shawn had texted him earlier when sam was in the crapper. he and shawn had been ... _dating? seeing each-other? known each-other?_ .... they'd met just before shawn and gus opened _Psych_ and started working for the police, which had to be just over a month now. 

and both of them liked each-other, _so, dating._ _dating probably wasnt far off._ shawn understood dean had hunting as a job. he and gus kept santa barbara safe, and dean and sam kept the rest of the states safe. but if anything _monster-y_ came up, they were to call the winchesters.

tired of being babied or looked at every-time he needed to move on the couch, dean packed his duffel and left at 11 PM. sam asleep and with bobby's well wishes and promise that he wouldn't tell a soul where dean went off too. _not that bobby knew himself._

 _ **friday**_ \- _a blur of a day._ dean drove the 26 hours it took from sioux falls to santa barbara and finally pulled into the beautiful city around one in the morning on saturday. he didnt _dare_ stop, if he did, he possibly wouldve panicked and backed out of going someplace safe. it was always why he drove the stretch in one go. _every. single. time_.

 _ **saturday**_ \- he knocked on shawn's door, past one AM, bone tired with his chest bleeding through the bandages and seeping into his thin black shirt. he pushed his hand on it, hissing quietly. his palm was pulled away, light red coloured the entire surface.

shawn pulled open the door, pulled dean in, closed the door and was undressing his taller boyfriend with time to spare. by one-thirty the spencer had the winchester's chest cleaned and re-bandaged. the two of them layed in bed, boxers only with the sheet covering them. dean nuzzled his face into shawn's soft hair, the smell of fruits filled his senses.

_it wasnt hard to fall asleep with shawn spencer snuggled under your chin._

around noon time found the fake psychic, gus and dean walking the road parallel of the ocean, chinese food take-out boxes and coffee cups in hand. shawn was in his light, faded blue jeans, tight green shirt and sneakers. gus, in his grey work suit. dean, also in lightly faded blue jeans, though not as tight as shawns, and a purple shirt that read _"tombstone, arizona"._ his chest tightly bandaged underneath.

not that he let his eyes _drift down_ too often while he walked behind the other two, _but there was something bulky in shawn's back-pocket._ it was black, with a clip and a large antenna sticking up. _and yeah, okay, maybe_ dean was casting glaces down at his boyfriend's ass that looked _extra good in those jeans ..._

"i am _so glad_ to hear you say that" gus cheered.

dean looked up again. _what the hell were they talking about, and what had he missed?_

"well _of course,_ gus, taking a break is a _wonderful_ idea and i completely agree" shawn replied, looking off to his left.

 _ah, alright then._ but it stuck dean as _odd_ , over how _calm_ the psychic was currently. he knew shawn loved all the weird jobs he'd had all over the states, but being a fake psychic and using his _very real_ skills was the best job ever. _he got paid without doing much_ , in his own words of course.

_"see? now wasnt that a great talk, we should do this more often. ah, and look, we're here!"_

gus and dean looked off to the left, down the street where shawn had fanned his hand out too. emergency vehicles were parked everywhere, crime scene tape blew in the gentle breezed that came in from the ocean to their right.

 _"shawn"_ both men muttered, almost as a warning.

shawn, who was now sort of smirking, turned to his best friend and boyfriend, _"not my fault, i overheard the cops saying they found a body"_

gus raised an eyebrow, dean backed away when shawns hand flew to his back pocket, pulling the black device out _"which i may have heard on my police scanner .... which i may have brought with me"_

dean rolled his eyes. he and sam should _probably_ get one, maybe it would help with hunts. _hmm ..._

 _"mcnab!"_ shawn called out, running across the street. a tall man by the crime scene tape turned around. dean and gus shared a look, shaking their heads as they followed the 24 year old man. 

_"mcnab, nice guy. buzz"_ shawn whispered, when the other two caught up.

"buzz?" gus asked. shawn looked at him over his shoulder.

"buzz, like - _buzz watson, from the closer?"_ dean asked after, shrugging when he continued _"but i mean, that buzz is gay..."_

"hey, shawn" buzz mcnab smiled, looking down at the three men. the winchester found mcnab to be a few inches taller than him, about sammy's 6'5 height. meaning, he _utterly towered_ over the other two. 

"im sensing someone has made their wedding weight!" the psychic grinned widely, his fingers pressing onto his temple.

" _almost_! give or take five pounds" mcnab smiled equally as wide.

 _"awesome, so, whatcha got for us?"_ shawn stood on his tiptoes, craning his neck to look over and around the tall officer's shoulder.

" _a body._ man, mid-to-late forties. looks like hes been there for a few days, guy from the phone company found him. appears to be a suicide." buzz explained, trying to keep his face as neutral as possible.

shawn hummed, moving his foot as he was going to dive under the tape.

" _ah_ , sorry shawn. detective lassiter only said to let badges in" mcnab frowned.

almost as soon as the words left his mouth, shawn turned around and pulled gus' coffee cup out of his hands. _"oh, well, we were just out getting lassie's coffee. we wouldve brought one for everyone but we didnt know who'd be here"_

dean's eyebrows met his flat hair, watching as mcnab laughed, him and shawn talking until he lifted the tape for the three of them to pass under. he smiled awkwardly at buzz, lifting his own coffee as he passed. shawn took a sip off gus' cup, stopping when mcnab asked,

_"did you just sip from that?"_

shawn spun around, gus nearly knocking into him. he and dean turned their heads.

"you mean you _dont_ test lassie's coffee? he's so ... _precise_ with it. _no cream, no sugar"_

 _"uh, thats four cream, three sugar"_ mcnab's horrified face paled.

 _"you know it is"_ shawn smirked, buzz relaxed immediately, smiling up at shawn.

the coffee cup was thrown out in the trash once the officer faced the street once more, gus frowned, pointing at it halfly. dean handed him his left-over coffee, passing him the small cream and sugar containers he stored in his jean pocket. gus smiled gratefully at him.

 _"not the smartest"_ dean pointed out, lazy smile on his lips.

"no, but very, very nice, and a hard worker" shawn hummed, _"not too bad to look at either"_ he winked.

"you have the same haircut" dean grumbled, rolling his eyes.

 _"so do you"_ gus laughed.

shawn gasped _"it's a hair kink thing ...."_

_**~~~~** _

_dean had to laugh._ he'd met head detective lasstier and the new detective o'hara before, and this wasnt the first crime scene he'd ever seen - but it was the first time he'd tagged along with shawn and gus. 

_Psych_ wasnt even hired to the case yet, but it was amusing watching lassie get flustered by having shawn poke around the crime scene. and for a guy that was _so sure_ of himself, how come he _never noticed_ three men walk into the kitchen together, nor hear shawn open and close the cupboards, steal red salt for his chinese food, and finally open and close the fridge?

 _yeah, so lassie was amusing, and o'hara was totally sammy's type._ short, small, blue eyes and blonde. _was it weird he knew his brothers type of girl?_ not any worse than sam trying to egg dean on to flirt with girls at a bar, when in fact, dean would much rather hit on the _cute cowboy over there with the super tight pants on ...._

_besides the point._

lassie wasnt quite used to the psychic and gus yet, was probably even weirder having spencer's ... _'man friend'_ with them.

shawn was talking again. _but when wasnt his adorable, center-of-attention boyfriend not talking? and when did his nose and eyes start to run and water up?_

the first sneeze was so loud and so quick, it didnt give lassie a chance to yell at guster for dropping his take-out all over the dead body.

_**~~~~** _

_"tell me again why we gotta sit in the back?"_ gus grumbled, his knees pulled to his chest.

shawn was currently driving _'the blueberry'_ , a car so small, dean barely fit in and was almost embarrassed to be seen in at all. the psychic's right arm was holding onto the passenger seat, a fluffy orange cat sitting in it. 

gus and dean had been shoved to the back, and if gus was barely contained in the back seat, that meant dean was barely sitting on the worlds smallest back seat.

_"i agree, w-w-w"_

_"no dean, please dont sneeze again"_ gus cried, his hands covered his ears before they popped again. the blueberry was much too small for such a tall man who kept wheezing and sneezing from his cat allergy.

the sneeze was powerful enough to pitch dean forward, sending his body crashing into the seat in front of him. shawn hummed, petting the cat while driving.

_"im sorry gus, but the little boy cat gets car-sick and you know that. do you want him to throw up again back there? is that really want you want?"_

dean groaned, wiping his itchy nose for the billionth time, tossing himself back into the seat the best he could. _"mm 'ell me agg- mm, again 'hy ya n-needdd'd 'ha 'aat?"_ he sneezed into his elbow, his nose too stuffed up to sniffle anymore.

"well i needed a way into the case, the cat was the first thing i saw. i didnt know you had a cat allergy at the time, _so yes - my fault._ i owe you an _awesome_ date for this one. _plus, the sooner i figure this case out, the sooner the cat can go, and then, you can feel better!"_

gus shook his head as dean groaned once more.

_**~~~~** _

a heavily pregnant chief karen vick sat behind her desk, three chairs in front of her, with two of them being filled.

the large, fluffy orange _'little-boy-cat'_ laying down in one, a worn out dean with red rosy cheeks, his eyes also tinged red and watering, a red raw nose and a hand scrubbing at his chest, in the other. all the sneezing, and wheezing from the cat _really_ didnt feel good on his injured chest, _at all._

 _"s-ss'rry"_ dean muttered, shifting himself in the chair. the chief looked up with a raised brow.

 _"n't s-s-s'ck, jus' 'll'rg'c ta h'm"_ he grumbled, tossing his thumb over to the cat. the young woman still looked confused, but smiled gently at him. dean pointed to her mid-section for a split second, eyes slowly blinking as he watched her.

the slight amount of tension left her body, the smile became _real genuine and gentle._ "and, _where_ are mr. spencer and mr. guster?" she asked, checking her watch.

_"mm, c'mm'nnngg"_

karen nodded, reaching around her desk for tissues when dean sneezed hard a few more times. he thanked her quietly, blowing his nose and stuffing the now used tissues in his jean pocket. he sat up, leaning his elbows down on his knees as he tried to breathe better. _his nose was clearer now, at least talking would be easier._

dean watched the chief try to get comfortable in her chair, moving the wheels around on the floor, arching her back while trying to sit behind the desk. it was obvious _nothing_ was working out too well, and dean opened his mouth before he could stop himself.

 _"not_ .. that its any of my business, _ma'am, but ..._ why dont you get a pregnancy chair?" he wet his lips, eyes crinkled slightly as he tried to focus his vision. karen tilted her head, handing him another kleenex. _he accepted it with a lazy smile._

 _"it, um._ well theres different ones. since you're the chief, _and again, none of my business,_ sure its hard to be a woman, _let alone a pregnant woman and a woman in such high power,_ you'll probably want a professional looking one. just judging on how shawn talks about you, you seem like you can hold your shit down _real good"_

karen's face went from discomfort and confused to a more happy and still sort of confused look. dean wiggled his nose, getting to his shaky feet and walked around to her side. he bent down, his knees almost touching the red-orange floor.

"there's one that sorta looks like this, but when you sit on it, the seat sinks down. the back is also taller. the seat is like a pillow that shapes around your weight, it helps your back and hips too" he said quietly, pointing out different places on the metal and leather office chair the chief was in.

 _"uh, alright. thank you, mr ....?"_ karen smiled.

dean smiled back, _"just call me dean._ and im pretty sure if you request one, the city wont bat an eye ... _you're a pretty badass chick"_

karen laughed, pulling dean in for a small hug. the office doors busted open as shawn and gus entered. dean pulled away, grabbing a pillow from the couch and fluffing it, before helping karen lean back against it. 

lassiter entered the room and sat in the chair beside dean, watching spencer's show of dancing, while singing _"i dazzle and stretch"_

of course, it was only made _funnier_ when shawn fell down onto lassie's lap, and gus was showing karen the newspaper. karen sent them on their way, telling them to look further into the case.

 _"spencer, get the hell off my lap"_ lassie growled, shawn looked over at dean, pouting at him. 

dean rolled his eyes, smiling over at karen. she smiled back.

_"go on, children, we have work to do"_

gus and shawn broke out first, shawn taking the little boy cat. lassiter straighted his tie and left after. dean pulled the chairs back under the table, rubbing his nose before he was almost out the door.

 _"dean?"_ a quiet voice called him back. he turned to face the chief.

 _"i wanted to thank you, and if you ever call me 'ma'am' again i'll shoot you"_ she said.

the winchester dropped his head, smiling at his sneakered feet, _"no problem, chief"_

karen smiled at the shy young man. _"i hope to see you again"_

dean looked up at her, hand on the door knob, already pulling the door shut behind him.

_"me too. have a good day"_


	13. I don't have a white horse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one has been in my head for ages. It's lightly based on this episode of another show I saw.  
> It's a chapter that's finally not about Shawn and Dean!  
> Words: 1100 (It's the longest one I've done on here)  
> Written by N.  
> Warnings: Lassie's shirtless? Mention of scars, self harm, hinted abuse? gun talk, light swearing.  
> * posted & edited august 21st 2020 *

There had been a huge case in Santa Barbara - some psycho murderer or something. Jules had gone on vacation and Chief had taken Lassie out of the field for a break. It left the consultants investigating everything that the beat cops couldn't.  
After taking on the new consultants, who happened to be brothers, Lassie was beginning to feel less and less needed. On the case, Shawn and Gus had taken one lead, while Sam and Dean had taken another. They were basically just following up with witnesses. This led Lassie having to do background and other research.

The SBPD station was being redecorated which meant Lassie had to go back to the Psych office. After carefully removing the leftover ramen and meatballs off the table with a scrap piece of card, he sat down and began to file through the case notes.

A few minutes later a man came round the corner, he had hazelnut brown hair - slightly longer than his own. Carlton immediately pulled his gun on him. The other guy put his hands up, dropping his plate but clinging onto his half eaten sandwich.

“Ghffuh mmet” He was still chewing on the sandwich. As he swallowed he repeated the sentence.

  
“Don’t shoot.” He finally said.

  
“Who are you?” Carlton asked angrily, still not lowering his Glock 17.

  
“My name is Castiel, I’m an angel of the lord.”

  
“That makes you the ‘baby in a trench coat’ Dean mentioned then. Before you get started, I don’t believe in any of your God bull crap, but the others seem to. I was warned you might be hanging around sometimes.” After lowering his gun and holstering it, he eventually sat back down.

  
“I don’t understand. Why would you point your gun at me if you knew I would be here?” Castiel looked at him inquisitively, head slightly cocked to one side.

  
“No one ever died being too careful.” Lassiter seemed just as straight laced as people had suggested.  
“Famous last words, Mr. Detective.”

  
Lassiter would have found Castiel’s sarcasm endearing if he thought it was meant to be funny and not just blunt. However he did find himself warming to the so-called angel.

“Don’t just stand around then, do something useful.” Lassiter said, almost snapping.

  
Castiel took a seat next to the Detective and took his own case file to read. Both of them reached up, and undid their top buttons. They loosened their ties. Both sporting similar striped blue ones - while Castiel had only done a Half Windsor, Lassie had chosen to try an Eldridge.

Carlton ended up taking off his jacket, laying it on a chair next to him and then rolling his sleeves up. He was clearly tired - although probably more mentally tired than physically. Ignoring the increasing summer temperature, Castiel was still wearing his trench coat.

A while later, Castiel looked over at Lassiter. He saw a black pattern sticking out from under his sleeve.

  
“You have tattoos?” The angel said, rather matter of factly.

  
“A few” Carlton said reluctantly.

  
“Show me” Castiel didn’t mean anything by it, he was simply just interested.

Lassiter wasn’t the kind of man to normally take off his shirt, but he did. Something about the way Castiel spoke, he couldn’t help but listen. After removing his tie and shirt he stood up. He definitely wasn’t ripped but he was still well toned. Castiel stood up with him and put his hand on Carlton’s arm. Right above the tattoo he had seen earlier.

  
“It’s from the rangers - a marksman tattoo.”

  
Castiel hadn’t asked but was still interested.

His hand trailed around onto the Detective’s chest. No tattoos but a scar, an ugly bullet wound was just above his right nipple. Lassie didn’t seem to care - he was proud of his career and it was only fair the bullets went both ways.  
Castiel had continued to circle around Lassiter. His back was a mess and as soon as Castiel got close he began to tense up. The angel’s hands touched the skin around the long winding scars.

“Castiel...Please don’t touch them.”

  
“Okay” The angel obeyed but was still rather interested.

  
Lassiter grabbed his shirt again and began to put it back on again.

  
“You seem to be bleeding Mr. Detective” Castiel had spotted circles of blood on the arm of a previously pearly white shirt.

  
“It’s nothing, just leave it.” The detective said, obviously flustered.

Castiel grabbed onto Carlton’s shoulder. He spoke in a booming voice that almost surprised the detective. “LET ME SEE!”

  
Lassiter put his arm out, the upper section was covered in Cigarette burns - some new, some much older. He didn’t seem like the kind of person who would smoke but it didn’t matter.

  
“Take a seat and I’ll help you out.” Lassiter was close to tears but he couldn’t let it show, he still had a reputation.

  
Castiel went to the kitchen, stepping over the plate from earlier. He reached the first aid kit on the shelf. If it hadn’t been for Shawn and Dean’s earlier game of Winchester Fireball then he would have had no idea where the kit was. He pulled out some gauze and bandages, he also found some cream that was supposed to help. Castiel had tried to stop using his powers to heal, not only did it freak people out but it also hurt him.

Walking back to the detective, he placed the kit on one end of the table and sat down on the other end. They were now sitting legs interlocked so that Castiel could see properly.  
“Put your arm out.” The angel softly instructed. Lassiter followed.

Castiel rubbed a small amount of cream in and placed some squares of gauze over the newer bits. Carlton flinched. Bandaging that whole section of arm, caused the detective to flinch once again.  
The angel went to find one of his own spare shirts and returned.

  
“I think we’re the same size.” Lassiter faintly nodded.

  
He helped the detective get the shirt on and button it up.

  
“It must have hurt. I can help, I have seen a lot of things. A lot of people go through pain. I can help.

  
“You never speak a word of this to anyone, not a living soul. I will shoot you.”

  
“Of course, Mr. Detective.”

Lassiter smirked. “You can call me Carlton. And thank you Castiel or whatever your real name.”

  
“I am an angel, Carlton.”

  
“I still don’t believe you Castiel. I don’t believe things I can’t see.”

  
Castiel got up and walked out the door. As he did Lassiter’s arm suddenly felt less painful, soothed almost.


	14. if i die before i wake, smoke me out at heaven's gate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shawn finally gets to know sam, although he's not cheery as dean told stories about.
> 
> dean's an awesome big brother, and shawn gets just as protective.
> 
> based on true events, added too, to make sense with the winchester's storyline.
> 
> written by h.e.
> 
> warnings: depression, suicidal talk and thoughts, outed gay person, death mention, toxic person mention, homophobia, transgender and genderfluid conversation, and swearing.
> 
> words: 3,059.
> 
> posted & edited on august 22nd 2020
> 
> takes place after sam winchester has seen some things

shawn met dean's kid brother sam, _at least over a month ago._ and to be honest, _he had the hardest time reading the kid._

usually it would take one sweep of his eyes over a person and _boom,_ he knew the very basics of the person. _but sam winchester remained a mystery to him_. dean knew _everything_ about his kid brother, and shawn tried to ask him about sam, but dean just laughed and shook his head. 

_if shawn wanted to know sam winchester, he'd have to talk to him. simple as that._

after getting to the police station and falling in deans arms, he met sam for the first time. being with dean for a full year and he _finally_ met the infamous _'sammy'_ dean never really shut up about. and shawn could kinda tell why. 

he'd been sorta outta it for the last few days, and once he was feeling better, the winchesters had a hunt in ohio and would be leaving. shawn tagged along just to scrub the kidnapping horror of santa barbara away.

so, sam winchester stood at 6'5, _which was possibly scarier than dean's 6'3 height._ he had shaggy hair that fell into his eyes no matter how much he pushed it away. it was messy like dean's, but while dean's was gelled and styled, it seemed like sam never combed his hair. or if he did, his hair was pushed away or touched so often the style was turned into a wonderful messed style. _the bright dye was sorta a surprise, but it also suited him._

sam _never_ changed in the same room. if shawn was asleep, or pretending to still be asleep, he changed in the room. but if shawn was awake, or walked in the room sam made the quickest moves to the bathroom to finish. he wore board-shorts if the weather was hot, and shawn could tell there were no boxers under them. but if it was raining or cold, sam wore ripped jeans, or just plain tight jeans. always with combat boots or dirty sneakers. _and weird belt buckles and sunglasses and snapbacks._

his eyes were a mix of green and hazel, eyelashes long like dean's. no freckles, just a few zits and a nose stud in his right nostril. he wore eyeliner maybe once or twice, but it wasnt done nicely, it was messy and he didnt seem to care, like it was _supposed_ to be like that. _maybe it was._ but his short fingernails were always painted perfectly. the minute a chunk chipped off, the paint was quickly replaced. he drummed his fingers on every surface available, _and if it drove dean up the wall, he never said._ only really explained by the earbuds sam always had in.

shawn was _very confused_ by sam winchester, but he liked the 19 year old. he could kinda tell why dean was so protective over him. little brother and all, but there was more going on there. something dean knew about sam that he was holding back on and not telling shawn.

_again, if shawn wanted to know sam winchester, he'd have to talk to him._

the last hunt was tiring. _bloody mary._ something shawn would have laughed about and made fun of, until tonight, _when the scary bitch crawled out of the broken mirror._

not the most scary thing he'd seen since beginning to hunt with dean, _but pretty damn scary._ shawn shook his head, shutting off the bathroom light and feeling his way along the wall and back to the motel bed he was sharing with his boyfriend. 

dean was on his stomach, hands tucked under the fluffy pillow that was smashed up against his face. snoring loud enough to rattle the windows, and possibly rip the siding off the building, if not brick. the psychic laughed to himself, sitting beside dean's sleeping body.

the broken alarm clock between the two beds read _3:49_ in bright red. the sun would be rising soon enough, and after letting his eyes focus in the dark did he finally notice the other bed was pulled apart. sam's army green duffel was on the end of the unmade bed, wide open. his phone charger, tangled and still plugged in on the side table with no phone charging.

a shadow by the window next to the door caught shawn's eyes. he checked on dean before quietly getting up. the salt line looked like it had been touched, but fixed nicely , although there were a few places it was out of order. _not enough to cause harm to anyone in the room._

shawn opened the motel room door, stuck his head out slightly. to the right sat 19 year old, 6'5 tall sam winchester, feet bare on the cold cement, black ripped jeans on, big belt buckle pushing against a tight black shirt with a red ... _was that a sports bra?_

 _"jesus christ, shawn"_ sam muttered, pulling the blue earbuds out and pinching the bridge of his nose, eyes shut.

 _"sorry!"_ shawn smiled awkwardly, stepping out of the room and closing the door behind him.

the chilly late summer night wind picked up, causing a shiver to run down his body. the parking lot in front of them was nearly empty, the impala parked off to the left of them. the few highway lamps on either end of the motel were a sick orange glow. 

"i just, _uh_. you werent -" shawn stuttered out, swinging his thumb towards the closed door beside him, awkward smile still in place. _"i .. can go, if you wanna be alone"_

sam was quiet, and shawn took the chance to look over him. aside from the usual wear, he noticed the flannel on the back of the chair sam sat on. a few books sat on the ground next to his bare feet, his phone on his lap with his long fingers pulling at his earbuds. his shaggy dyed hair was pushed back in a navy blue snapback. _shawn wondered what this one read, having never seen that one yet._

a shiny silver ring was on sam's left ring finger, and judging by the shape and design of it, shawn noted it was an irish wedding band. he squinted at it, before squinting at sam's chest for a half second.

 _"yaknow, instead of ... judging ... and/or, tryna read me ... just ask ..."_ sam grumbled, pulling the flannel from the back of the chair and tugging it over his bare arms. the teal tattoo on his upper left arm covered by the flannel, causing shawn to frown.

he grabbed a hold of another chair on the other side of the motel room door, sitting close and in sam's personal space. "no, _no_! i .. _sorry_ , you're just ... _very strange in a very nice way._ ive never _not_ been able to read someone, _you're very closed off."_

sam never moved. he blinked slowly, wet his bottom lip.

"is that .... _rap?"_ shawn asked, eyebrows raising in pure confusion when both people were so quiet you could the loud music from sam's earbuds.

the teenager's face burned hot, fingers gripping his phone tight before he paused the music and pulled his earbuds out, dropping them on top of his books. 

"didnt think you were into that kinda thing" the psychic stated, smile beginning to form.

"im .. _im not_. i like music, mostly all kinds, but i .. i like two pop-punk-kinda-rappers ... _that get played when im angry"_ sam's voice went very quiet near the end of his reply.

"angry?" the older man asked, eyebrows meeting one another. 

sam's eyes fell as he went quiet again. 

_so, this wasnt easy, nor was it going get to easier._ no wonder he was so hard to read. he was closed off, much like dean. quieter than his older sibling, his clothes and appearance did the talking for him. _maybe thats how shawn would get in, if just the smallest bit._

"i like your ring" shawn smiled. sam opened his hands, and suddenly the light caught them, showing off that all but his right pinkie had a ring on, his index fingers having two rings each. 

shawn huffed a laugh _"this one",_ pointing to the left ring finger. the irish wedding ring. a sad smile tugged at sam's lips before dropping.

"someone special?"

 _"yes .... but .... no"_ sam mumbled, hiding his hand in his flannel sleeve. _"i had someone, but that ring isnt .. about them"_

the psychic looked more confused, leaning closer to the teenager, which caused a noisy huff/sigh to escape sam.

 _"you wont leave me alone until i tell you, right?"_ he growled, eyes dark and narrowed at the older man. shawn slapped a stupid grin across his face, "i could, but you're weird and i wanna get to know you"

sam rolled his eyes, gnawing on his lip.

"continue, please"

"her name was jess. we were ... _'highschool sweethearts'_ i guess .. i ... _i really did love her,_ but she .. didnt really _know_ ... i wanted to tell her, to .. _to marry her, to be with her_ _... but she's gone now ..."_

shawn frowned as the teenager whispered, hiding his face, his nose going a soft red that matched his red tinged eyes, lip being chewed to death. "and, the ring?"

a sniffle caught the psychic off guard, and he dug through his pajama pockets for a kleenex, only to remain empty handed. sam just wiped his nose and face with his flannel covered wrist.

 _"is a purity ring._ grade 7 was ... _the worst._ i was ... i was so .. _suicidal_ , and my depression and insomnia got _so strong ... i havent been the same since_ ... then i was outed by some fuckin assholes, so i .." sam let out a heavy breath, both flannel wrapped hands went to cover his face.

_"dean got me the ring, and while im not into religion and whatever, i say its a purity ring because i acted like i wasnt me ... like i wasnt dreaming of dying, or ... or running away .. or, or kissing girls ..."_

shawn flew back in his chair, eyes going wide as he pointed to sam's chest. _"you - ... wait, you're -"_

 _"no!"_ sam almost shouted, sighing. "no .. _im not. im different_. im ... _genderfluid"_

_"i dont-"_

_"understand?"_ sam cut shawn off again, _"yeah, dont worry._ nobody ever understands right away, and when i do explain they either look at me like im _fuckin insane_ or they think im insulting transgenders" 

_"why?"_

"being genderfluid is different for everyone, so its hard to explain because its just .. _its different!_ but more or less, some days you feel like a girl, a boy or nonbinary, some days all of them, some days none of them ..."

_"and thats insulting?"_

sam sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose again. _"to some, yes._ because i have _so many_ bad memories in my girl body, and i just .. _i have so many non-binary and 'boy days' that i want out"_

shawn frowned. this was confusing, but he was learning.

"you wanna ... _transition?"_

 _".... kinda"_ sam mumbled, picking some rocks from under his feet, his eyes shining in the moonlight and street lamp. shawn watched how sam moved, how he was sitting, how he was only hiding certain parts of himself with almost an embarrassed stance.

 _"you wanna look like your big brother."_ shawn smiled. "flat chest, scuffy facial hair" he laughed quietly, poking sam's baby faced cheek. 

sam snorted, smiling weakly as he slapped shawn's hand. _"y-yeah ... im fine with .. whats in my pants ... just ..."_

 _"not up top._ i get it. _well ... dean gets it, im still a little confused._ gimme a day to research and _actually_ read. _but you wanna be you, so i get it"_

the weak smile got slightly stronger.

shawn's smile dropped though, eyes going wide again _"did john know?"_ he whispered.

 _"fuck no._ it took me awhile to figure out why dean flinched all the time, _and i never helped him. i was too scared._ i figured him out and never said a thing. dean figured me out and never said a thing."

"he used the wrong name and pronouns every-time then?" shawn cringed. sam cringed back.

"is sam a new name?" 

sam nodded, fiddling with his flannel clad hands. _"dean gave me the name. my deadname is mary, after ... after mom ... john named me ...."_

 _shawn couldnt help himself,_ he reached over and pulled the tall teenager into a bone crushing hug. he held on tightly, smiling when sam nuzzled in and slowly relaxed in his arms. _it felt right, and if it took shawn over a month of trying to read sam only to talk to him for this to happen, then so be it._ now it made sense as to why dean was so protective over his kid brother, shawn felt protective over him now too.

he pulled the 19 year old's snapback off, moving around to place it on his lap and dragging his hands through sammy's hair. he found the dyed rat's nest to be greasy, _probably why he had the snapback on in the first place, but oh well._ sam relaxed further against shawn, his hold getting looser.

"i dont, wanna be one of those people, sam. _but .. were you ... suicidal after you were outed?"_

sam got stiff, his grip on the psychic's right elbow did all the explain before sam even opened his mouth. _"john had this ... partner, i guess. and... fuck. she was ... she was so toxic. and i .. i wanted to be happy because it was family, and .. dean .. dean was all i had ... and i wanted to spend time because if i ever left i would have no memories or anything to hold onto, i tried. i tried so hard. but we didnt get along at best. we fought so much, we yelled, we got so close to killing each-other. she was so toxic, she could never complain about me to my face, always said her problems with me to dean ... i wanted to leave so bad. either dying or running away ..... whatever to get me away"_

he was nervous to ask, but did anyways. "and now?"

and as relaxed as saying the sky was blue, or that the grass was green, sam mumbled _"yeah. sometimes. depression sucks. its just .. its always there in the back of my mind, no matter what. i have stuff to fill the void but sometimes it crashes into the front. i have bad days. some-days where i wanna rip my skin off, get away from me."_

shawn said nothing, just held sam closer. 

their talk lasted for awhile longer. the sun rose behind the older man's hunched state and he smiled warmly when he saw movement in the room, meaning that dean was awake. _or at least, up and moving._

 _he'd learned things about sam._ such as, _never ever_ call him a girl, or he'd _for sure_ cut your balls off. they/them or he/him worked best. sam was _always_ his name, _because dean named him that - but he never gave the reason why._ he had thin nails from john demanding they be painted all the time as he grew up, so he always had them painted. 

dean had helped sam cut his long hair, _that nearly touched his feet,_ off when he was 11. dean always helped him dye it. he had cool nose studs, he only wore eyeliner if he felt like it - _but it always looked like kurt cobain's because being punk is his thing._ he loved halloween, _again, because of dean._

and just like shawn and dean, sam was a pop culture maniac. he loved music, tv shows, movies, books and could quote his favourite shows by heart or by a snap of fingers. sam was also a heavy insomniac, so if he wasnt up doing research for a hunt, he was probably watching tv, or reading, _which made shawn kinda impressed._

the sun was rising slowly, the wind dying down and the heat beginning to pick up. a grumpy and ruffled looking dean swung the motel room door open, squinting in the early morning light.

he squinted down at sam, who was fast asleep against shawn's chest, a lazy smile on his face.

 _"um ... what'd i miss?"_ dean grumbled, his bedhead sticking up wildly, bed-shirt wrinkled and his boxers low. shawn smiled widely, _"i have officially bonded with sammy!"_

dean snorted, rubbing his face, tired eyes and smile focused on his two favourite people. "we gotta check outta this dump at ten. lets get you two back inside for some sleep."

 _"he's in his .. thing"_ shawn whispered, helping dean move sam's dead-weight self.

 _"fuck. i got it."_ dean muttered, picking up sam and carrying him inside. shawn picked up the rest of the stuff, moving the chairs and stretching his body out. he could hear dean talk to either himself or whisper to sam, and he hummed to himself.

sam's phone buzzed, the screen turning to with a low battery warning. shawn clicked on it, the entire phone opening past the pass-code and opening to the battery usage page. with a frown he clicked the home button on the bottom. 

a photo of dean, back to the camera, sunglasses on, head turned to the left with his right arm pointing out to the distance was sam's background photo. shawn smiled lightly. _dean was sam's hero, and it didnt take a fake psychic to see that. anybody could._ the music shuffle flashed quickly.

_'up next: bullet. hollywood undead.'_

shawn shook his head, turning around and entering the room. the salt line broken, with the salt box sitting next to it, clearly ready to be put back in sooner or later. the psychic plugged sam's phone back in. dean had undressed him after putting on a baggy shirt. the flannel and binders on top of his duffel, now on the shared bed.

"hey, im goin out for breakfast. you gunna sleep?" dean asked, his tired face was more awake, but sleep still clung to him.

"shower. im not that tired" shawn replied, smiling again when dean moved closer.

_"you feelin okay?"_

_"yeah. it was a lot, but ... i feel like winchesters are tough"_

_"damn straight"_ dean grinned, kissing his boyfriend.

"im treating sam later today"

dean raised an eyebrow, a smirk pulled his face.

 _"i cant tell you, thatll ruin the surprise!"_ shawn laughed.


	15. The only heaven I'll be sent to...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't really know what I wrote. It started off as just me waffling on and then... Well...  
> Written by N  
> Words: 1169  
> Warnings: Drinking, SMUT... BAD SMUT  
> Enjoy :)  
> *posted and edited august 27th 2020*

Chief Vick was holding a meeting in the station, it was mostly just consultants but of course Lassie and Jules were there too.

“Hello everyone, as you all know, we have a convention coming up. It’s about modern day techniques to crime fighting. Now there are 6 of you, 7 if you include Mr. Novak.”

“You can’t forget Castiel, that’s like missing out the third Hemsworth brother”

“There’s a ...well that’s beside the point. As I was saying, there are a lot of you and the department can only afford 3 rooms. It’s up to you what you do. You’re all detectives or thereabouts so you should be able to figure it out.”  
Karen walked back to her office and left everyone standing around looking at each other.

Lassiter immediately took charge.

  
“Right well, Spencer and Guster, you can stay here and do whatever it is that you guys do. O’Hara you get your own room, so do I, of course. Then Sam and Dean can share. The weird Novak guy can share with them if he wants.” The Head Detective commanded.

“That’s simply offensive. We deserve to go. I mean modern day techniques, that's us.” Shawn was already raising his hand to his head.

“I ain’t going. Some of us have got actual jobs to do.” Gus was already walking to the exit.

“My point still stands.” Shawn yelled out after his partner.

Now turning back to the detectives: “You guys might need me or something.”

“Well how about, Carlton and I will share. Sam and Dean still get their own room, that leaves Shawn to share with Cas if he wants.” Jules was the one to make the final decision. It was probably because nobody dared to argue.

“That sounds as good as caramel ice cream on a summer day.” Shawn got a weird look from Lassie for that comment.

\-----------

It was around 10 o’clock and everyone had gone to the hotel bar. San Francisco bars were a lot different to what any of them were used to - more bar stools and pool tables than the more exotic Santa Barbara ones. A few drinks in and even Lassie had started to enjoy himself.

“Well I think there’s a nice bubble bath waiting for me up in my room” Although Shawn had done nothing but eat pretzels all day, he still was beginning to feel tired.

“You have a good point. I think I should go and watch something.” It seemed the excessive alcohol hadn't touched the angel.

  
“Damn angel might go and watch Gilmore Girls, I can’t miss that.” Dean seemed to get overly excited.

“Wow that man really knows how to pick a show” The Head Detective said, flicking his eyes over to Castiel for a split second.

“Detective Hard-ass Lassiter watches a crappy show like Gilmore Girls?” The youngest at the table piped up.

“Oh come on Sammy, you’ve seen some of it, I think you secretly love Dean Forester”

  
It hadn't taken long for one brother to shut up the other.

“Right so I think me and Sam will stay here and you guys can go and watch whatever chick flick you’ve all gone gooey-eyed about.” Jules was somewhat surprised that all these super tough guys had immediately been so interested in some show.

“Not a chick flick” Dean said defensively.

The four of them walked away back to the rooms. Lassiter and Castiel let the others go in front.

Dean’s room was first, he swiped his card and entered. Shawn followed him in.

“Shawn, I thought you were supposed to be going to your room for the bath.” Castiel had cocked his head to the side, looking slightly confused.

“You idiot Novak, they’re not going to watch some show.” The detective was trying not to let it show that seeing Castiel giving that look just made his heart melt.

“So then why did we come along?” The angel was getting even more confused.

“Well you know, there are some things we could do” Carlton gave a slight smile.

“Like what?”

“Do I really need to spell it out?”

Lassiter ended up having to barge into his room, while pulling Castiel by his tie.

  
Once the pair got in the room and the door closed behind them, Carlton shoved the angel against the wall.

“I-I don’t understand.”

Lassiter was just inches away, looking right into Castiel’s eyes. The whole room was pitch black but there still managed to be a sparkle in Castiel’s eyes.

“Should we be doing this while intoxicated?” The angel still managed to be sensible, even in a moment like this.

“Probably not” And with that Lassiter leaned in and kissed the angel. It was short. Until Castiel kissed him back. He put his arms round the Detective’s neck without taking a break for air. Their kisses had become harder and more passionate.

They moved a few steps back to the bed.

The Angel moved his hands down to Lassiter’s hips and pulled the detectives shirt off over his head. It made for a brief interlude between their needy kissing.

Castiel took over, he knew what he wanted.

After putting his hands back on the detective he pushed Lassie straight back on to the bed. He ripped off his own tie and white Windsor shirt. Lassiter was now sitting half naked on the end of the bed, looking up at the angel in all his glory.

Castiel straddled the detective, going back to the passionate kisses, he felt Lassiter harden underneath him.

The angel moved his kisses down Lassiters neck - he seemed to almost buckle from the attention. After moving his way down Carlton’s chest, Castiel undid the Detective’s trousers and pulled them down along with his briefs.

He carried on his kisses down to Lassiter’s hips, he was leaving a trail of love bites along the way.

“Stop teasing me, Novak.”

The Angel smirked and got up. Then Lassie realized he was doing it to take off his trousers. He got back to the detective and pushed him round so he was now lying on his back.

“Are you sure you’re okay with this?” The angel asked.

“Please just do it” Castiel couldn't work out whether the detective was needy or just annoyed.

Castiel went slowly at first, only speeding up when he couldn’t take it much longer. Lassiter grabbing onto the edge of the bed only fueled him on more. They carried on for a while like this, both of them were beginning to feel amazing.

“Fuck...Castiel…I’m gonna...” After that he felt the detective relax. He stopped holding on so tight and just rode out the feeling.

Castiel wasn’t far behind and it didn’t take much to send him over the edge.

They both collapsed into the bed - they worked so well together. They were both worn out which led to Lassie cuddling the angel.

“You know, I never pegged you as a top”

“I apologize, I didn’t - didn’t know”

“You really are weird, Novak. It was perfect.”


	16. red phantoms, serial killers, and that time the impala was a makeshift delivery room

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> back at it again with the long ass titles ... its what i do best, i think. 
> 
> because the anniversary of Shawn Vs The Red Phantom just passed and because i adore the episode so much. i figured it would fit so well into this little verse, and because i love making up little stories from episodes in both verses i work within !!
> 
> i try so hard to write short pieces but i get so carried away 😅 i need to start filling out more prompts, this is becoming a full on book again ... whoopies. i just love these nerds.
> 
> and dean - yall remember how dean knew all that info about pregnancy chairs but yall never knew why? well, haha - now ya do. and it suits him in sucha strange way. 
> 
> takes place maybe about a week or two after 9 Lives And The First Time Dean Met Buzz Mcnab And Karen Vick
> 
> written by h.e.
> 
> warnings: death mention, heavy swearing because sammy is a massive potty mouth, light blood mention, slight graphic birth scene, and knives.
> 
> words: 2,129.
> 
> posted & edited on august 30th 2020

dean tiredly rubbed at his eyes before parking his beloved 67 chevy impala in the santa barbara police department's parking lot.

he'd left sam behind on a small ghost hunt back in new mexico. seeing as the kid was just re-learning to hunt and adjust to the life again he wanted to do some small cases on his own. _gave dean good enough reason to sneak off to santa barbara for a few days._

turns out, shawn and gus were also busy on a case of their own. the city's answer to comic-con was _actually a pretty happenin event._ lassiter was away, _doing whatever the tight ass did when he wasnt working,_ and jules was helping out with the case. _which left dean doing a favour for shawn._

with everyone busy, nobody was able to drive chief vick to her conference out of town. _that left dean._ he really only agreed to do the favour because he really did like karen vick and her little secret love for him and his boyfriend. it was like dean was getting a second chance with the mom he didnt have much time with. _and he loved every second._

dean shoved the impala keys into his jeans, _clearly not staying long enough this trip to change into his usual beach wear,_ and made his way into the station. the chief was in her office, putting files away in her desk and closing up a briefcase. 

"hey, im here" the winchester awkwardly mumbled, waving halfly as he stood in the doorway. he smiled upon seeing the pregnancy chair behind the desk. karen turned around, smiling wide.

"hey! im almost ready to go. thank you for driving me by the way, usually i'd do it myself but _yaknow -"_ she cut herself off by pointing to her large middle, making a face and grabbing a hold of the case. dean's face got hot, shrugging while taking the case from the woman.

away from looking eyes and nearing the classic car, dean placed his empty right hand against the curve of the pregnant woman's back, helping her walk down the cement steps. he helped her into the passenger seat, closing the door and storing the briefcase in the trunk.

"so, i was a little shocked to hear you were back in town so soon" karen commented when dean was back behind the wheel and started driving out of the parking lot.

"yeah, _kinda surprised me too_ , but-uh, yeah, kid brother wanted a job to himself, _so here i am"_ dean explained, laughing and shrugging once more.

 _"the family business?"_ the chief asked. dean nodded with a smile.

"after my mom ... _passed_ , dad started it up, moved me n sammy all over the place. _never for too long either._ but he left for a job and, _i dunno_ , he was gone longer than usual and i wanted to give sammy a sense of _normal_ the best i could. _so, i packed this old gal and drove up to uncle bobby's"_

karen softly smiled at the 26 year old, about to speak when dean's phone started to ring. he grumbled, keeping one hand on the wheel while patting down his jean clad thighs.

"says _'sammy'_ " the chief said, holding up the ringing device from where it was on the leather seat between the two.

dean casted a quick glance at the screen before returning to the road, _"oh. uh, just-uh, hmm, i'll call him back later, just let it ring"_

karen put the phone back to where it was, settling back against the seat. 

_"where was i?"_ dean muttered, rubbing his forehead with a slight grimace. the older woman quietly laughed, "you drove to uncle bobby's" she reminded.

 _"right. ha._ sam did all four years of highschool in one place. _that never happened ever._ i dont think we even did a _full term_ in a single place. was good for sammy though, met a girl just before grade 9, started dating after a month-" he paused to laugh, eyes shining in the bright california sun coming in through the windshield.

"name was jess. _she was beautiful too._ real highschool sweethearts. couldda' been together forever, i think. she, well she passed away just before grad. sammy finished the year, and i took him on a short roadtrip that day"

the phone had stopped ringing, only for it to start up again seconds later. it was sammy this time too, karen left it on the seat when dean just shook his head. _the drive was going smoothly so far, and taking a call while driving and having a very pregnant police chief in the car was simply pushing your luck._

"maybe you should answer it" the chief suggested, shifting in her seat again, glancing down at the phone.

 _"are-are you sure? he's got ... a potty mouth"_ dean muttered, already picking up the blaring device. the woman huffed a laugh, her hands rubbing her middle with a pinched face. the winchester raised an eyebrow, the phone stopped and dean slapped it on the dash.

"you alright?" he asked, hand laying on karen's shoulder as she rolled them. she groaned under her breath, licking her lips. "im fine, a little cramp" 

_Home by Collective Soul_ started to play again. dean growled, smashing his thumb on the screen before yelling _**"damnit sammy! what?!"**_

_**"holy fuck dean, ya fall down the fuckin shitter or what?! ive been callin!"** _

the chief covered her mouth to smother a laugh when sam's cracking voice yelled through the phone. dean rolled his eyes, a blush already settling high on his cheeks.

 _"im driving and doing a favour! whats with the panic calls?"_ dean replied, a lot less angry but still not quite relaxed.

_**"fuck dean! it was goin good, almost had it too! suddenly fuckin agent hendrickson showed up with his fuckin guys, and then all of a sudden my fuckin cover was blown! its not even a fuckin ghost, dean! its a goddamn fucking witch! this is bullshit, hendrickson knows im in town!"** _

the impala pulled over to the side of the road, the oldest winchester brother pinching the bridge of his nose.

_**"this isnt funny dean! you fuckin know hendrickson wants our asses! how the fuck am i supposed to get the fuck out? one winchester wont be enough for the fucker, what do i do?!"** _

karen vicks figure went stiff, her eyes turned ice cold and narrowed on the young man sitting next to her. dean's jaw twitched, _"sammy - listen to me._ did he actually see you or does he just know you're around?"

_"n-no! no i dont think so, he, i, im at the motel, i was waiting until tonight to get the witch"_

_"alright. hot-wire a car and drive at least a few towns over, maybe even a state over. drop a dime when you get someplace safe, getta hold of bobby too. i'll be there as soon as i can"_

_"are you sure?"_

_"do it sammy, its the only way for right now. forget the witch, for now"_

_".... alright."_

_"dont get dead"_ dean ended the call. 

his head hit the steering wheel, a heavy sigh falling past his lips as his shoulders dropped. the panic was still high but he knew sam well enough to know the kid could get away without too much trouble. _but the fear would always be there._

 _"sam and dean winchester, aged 18 and 26. born in lawrence, kansas. wanted by the fbi, for mail fraud, credit card fraud, grave desecrations, armed robbery, kidnapping, three counts of first degree murder and impersonating federal agents."_ chief karen vick listed off, crossing her arms and glaring at dean.

the young man sat up, staring out the window before punching at the wheel and washing a hand down his face. _"really not what it looks like"_

_"i knew i saw your face before somewhere. care to explain?"_

_"even if i do tell you the truth, you wouldnt believe me"_

_"try me."_

and all of it poured out. the hunting, agent hendrickson, ghosts, goblins, vampires, ghouls, werewolves, wendigos ... the impala was quiet, dean looked out his window, biting his lip and wishing he could take it all back.

 _Ghostbusters_ played from the phone next, and just to break the heavy silence, dean took the call.

"hey, how ya guys doin? gus n me are almost done here." shawn's cheery voice was heard.

"sammy's kinda, _trapped_. so im gunna have to leave before tonight."

"aww, it was movie night tonight!"

dean cracked a sad laugh, near tears himself. "i, uh. i know. you and gus enjoy it."

 _"is sammy okay? was it that fbi guy?"_ shawn asked, the sound of walking and tons of other people talking breaking shawn's voice up came through the line. karen raised an eyebrow, her chest got tight with a sharp intake of air.

dean finally looked over at her, concered over the sounds. she had turned to face the windshield again, her eyes tightly closed, her face relaxed by getting pinched up every few seconds. the phone was placed on the dash and dean was quickly beside his passenger.

 _"s-shit, chief. clearly not cramps anymore, right?"_ the winchester boy tried, his eyes scanning her body, his left arm wrapping around her rounded middle and finding it hard to the touch. 

shawn's voice was still coming in short little crackles through the phone on the dash, karen's short yell of pain mixed in with shawn, and later gus asking if everything was alright. the womans water broke seconds later which made the winchester finally click into auto pilot.

_"shawn, gus, shut up, stay on the line in case i need yall, location is on too. chief, look at me. i know its hard, but you need to trust me right now. you can arrest me later, okay? you're having your baby, and i know how to help. its too late to drive anywhere, im going to help you"_

the other line was dead silent, karen's soft moaning filled the car. she looked at dean, _clearly confused on how the 6'2 man with messy hair and lazy stubble could possibly help to deliver a baby in a car._ dean cracked a small smile, shrugging his shoulders.

 _"a lot of people ask that. i was 8 when mom had sammy, dad was away getting drunk, i helped mom have sam. i didnt finish highschool but i, i took courses and im a fully legit midwife. the papers are even in the glove-box if you really need to see them."_ he broke the quick talking with a laugh, getting out of the classic car and running around to the trunk, finally pulling open the passenger side door.

he helped the chief stretch, pulling her legs out, taking off her shoes and planting her feet firmly on his shoulders. he dug around the floorboard until his hand hit the water-bottle, popping the cap and pouring the cleaner and water over his pocket knife.

"if any of you bring this up again, _i will kill you"_ karen grumbled out, wiggling around the leather seat as dean helped pull her ruined pants off, slipping towels around her waist and legs.

dean huffed a small laugh, feeling around her middle again. _"copy that ma'am."_ he grabbed his duffel from the backseat, settling it behind her head as a pillow he didnt have currently, getting to his knees again and holding the pocket knife.

 _"chief,"_ he started.

 _"karen. and give me your damn hand"_ she panted out. dean did as told and leaned over her a little. _"im going to cut before any tearing happens, okay?"_ when she nodded, the young man looked at the dash before moving back down.

some gentle, rather soothing guidance, and talking from dean. not a single peep from the other side of the phone, other than some rustling. and some awesome work from chief karen vick, a few hours later the hunter/male midwife was clearing the lungs of a screaming baby in his arms, phone almost dead on the dash.

 _"its a girl!"_ dean grinned wildly, cleaning the baby girl's face, wrapping her up in his flannel and carefully laying her on karen's chest. 

_**"oh my god!"**_ jules voice rang from the phone, shawn's voice was next but dean let out a bubbly laugh. karen weakly smiled at him, pulling at his thin t-shirt covered chest, whispering her thank you. 

he washed his bloody hands with the left over water and cleaner from the water-bottle outside in the grass he had been almost kneeling in, oh so carefully trying to shift karen's body so he could close the door and drive to the nearest hospital, just in case.

"dean?" the new mother said, just as dean got back behind the wheel.

"yeah?" he replied, looking down at her tired face.

 _"this doesnt quite get you off the hook, and don't call me 'ma'am'"_ she mumbled.

dean laughed loudly, the impala roaring to life and pulling off the side of the highway.

_"todays been so fuckin weird"_

_**"dean! dont swear in front of the new baby!"**_ shawn yelled over the phone.


	17. Who wants to live forever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is really short but I couldn't find what else to write about  
> Written by N  
> Words: 414  
> * Posted 1st September 2020  
> edited september 4th 2020

“Hey Shawn, D’ya ever think about the future?” They were both sitting in the psych office. Dean was sitting on the sofa with Shawn opposite him on the table.

“Like tomorrow? I want to get some pretzels.” The psychic was hungry after not having eaten for a few hours.

“Spencer, you know you’re really cute sometimes. I meant like what’s going to happen between me and you in the future.” This wasn’t something he really wanted to talk about but he had to.

“Well if you want, we can both get some pretzels.”

Dean reached over and swiped his boyfriend round the side of the head.

“Dude, what was that for? I offered you pretzels.”

“Shawn… Babe… I’m going to have to spell this out to you.”

“Oh, no need, watch this:” Shawn raised his hand to his head “The spirits are giving me a T… H… maybe and I… and then I think, yes an S. I’ve been told that's how you spell this.”

“First of all, I know you're not a psychic and secondly I’m trying to have a serious conversation here.”

“Go on then, Mr let's be serious.”

“Where do you see us in a year?”

“At this rate, still waiting to get pretzels.”

“Damn it Shawn, could you just stop with the pretzels. Have we got a future together?”

“Of course we do Dean.”

“Would you ever wanna get married or something?”

“Winchester, I don’t know where you’re going with this, but I don’t think either of us are the settling down type.”

“Yeah I suppose you’ve got a point, I don’t want to lose you Shawn.”

Shawn put his hand on Dean’s neck. “You’re not gonna lose me. I’m going to be by your side always. I want to be with you for the rest of our lives.”

“You’re right, I’m not the kind of person to settle down. But I want to hunt and solve cases with you, always.”

“Hey Spencer”

“Yeah”

“I love you” It was the first time Dean had ever said that.

“I - uhh - I love you too”

“You wanna come for a cuddle now?”

“I thought we could go and get some pretzels.”

“I thought that was our plan for tomorrow.”

“Well yeah but now I just kept thinking about them and that’s all I want.”

“You don’t even want me?”

“Well Mr. Winchester, we can see about that. Once we’ve got our pretzels.”

“You’re damn lucky I love you, Spencer.”

“I know, Dean.”


	18. got no shame, i love the way you're screaming my name

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this verse is a month old and this is what happens .... jules has known sam for a few months, and things happen.
> 
> written by h.e.
> 
> warning: sex ... lots and lots of sex ... pure smut. swearing. older woman/ younger man relationship. only 7 years difference but just in case.
> 
> words: 2,338
> 
> posted on september 3rd 2020  
> edited september 4 2020

juilet o'hara sat at her desk, chewing on her pen cap while browsing over her stack of paperwork. early autumn air had cooled down the police station, but california was still beautifully warm and pleasant.

the sound of a chair being rolled followed by a pair of dress shoes walking closer towards her, caused the young detective to look up. carlton had moved away from behind his desk, nearing the group of people that had just arrived.

shawn was the first to wave over to jules, his arm swinging around as if to invite her. jules smiled at him, pushing her chair back and making her way over to them. in the year she had known him, she'd come to enjoy being around him. _shawn was fun, and almost painfully always happy and cheery._

dean was behind shawn, bouncing a small girl in his strong arms. jules was at first surprised, dean didnt seem like the type of person to even _like_ kids, _let alone hold one of them,_ but the way it looked so _natural_ for him kinda threw the first thought out the window. 

castiel entered karen's office with karen herself, his tan trench-coat open. karen and dean moved away from the doorway, walking over to the small play area that was set up on the other side of the office, while castiel and carlton shared a quick kiss. shawn walked up to jules,

 _"sammy's coming with the drinks right away! the chief called us up with new info on the case we're working"_ he grinned. jules smiled back again, nodding slowly. the sounds of dean quietly laughing while bouncing the baby was rather distracting. 

the psychic followed her line of sight, smile getting brighter upon seeing his boyfriend with the baby. he turned back to the young blonde. _"weird, huh? but dean's a midwife, ya get used to it"_ he laughed.

"drinks are here" another voice called from the open door. 

buzz entered, drink tray in hand. juilet let out a soft gasp, without meaning too the second sam winchester walked past the glass doors, also carrying a drink tray.

dark brown hair pooled around his ears, blinding purple strands brushed against dark eyebrows. thick black eyeliner swirled around the most hazel eyes, a sharp nose with a small ring pierced through the right nostril. _jules watched sam's relaxed face, smile tugging at his cheeks, her eyes falling to his body._

a black shirt with an album cover of some sort was pulled tight across his chest, a large brown carheart jacket over top. black tight jeans with safety-pins in them and random pins flashed in the overhead lights. dirty sneakers with drawings and writing all over them squeaked on the freshly washed floor.

jules whimpered under her breath, shuddering as long slender fingers pulled cups from the tray. shiny rings and chipped nail polish on short nails. bruised and slightly bloody knuckles. the detective nearly drooled over the small tattoos under the bruises on his knuckles, she could feel several shivers shake her body at the thought of what those fingers could do to her.

_"jules?"_

juilet snapped back to life, her face burning up when sam stood over her, smiling awkwardly with a cup in hand. 

_"sorry!"_ she said, awkwardly smiling back. sam huffed a laugh, handing her a steaming cup of coffee, shaking his head with a sly grin, sitting on the table as the chief began her meeting. 

_it was an important meeting, juilet shouldve been paying attention._ but the entire time she watched 19 year old sam winchester. the way he watched everyone when they spoke, smiled shyly at her when he caught her watching him, the way his mouth moved around his straw, the way his tongue licked at the whipped cream atop his drink, the way he sucked on his fingers when the cream was sticking to his fingers.

_juilet felt like a cougar. she was only 7 years older than him, but for christ sake he was only a teenager! she only met him in april, was early october too soon to be having such sexual thoughts? she just really needed today to be over so she could go home and sit on her vibrator._

everyone was out of the office and the meeting was over. shawn met her outside the door, cas and lassie were by lassie's desk, grabbing his coat and laughing. dean was baby-less and talking with sam. jules let her eyes drift to his ass in his tight jeans.

"jules, everyone is heading to the diner for supper, ya wanna come along?" shawn asked, smiling again.

"um ... sure, i need a ride thought, my damn car broke down and its in the shop!" she complained, shrugging her shoulders.

"come with us, deans driving."

 _and she did._ she sat in the back with sam, who was far too tall to be shoved in the back of this large classic car, _that juilet was rather impressed by,_ and had told dean so. supper had gone smoothly, everyone laughing and telling stories. _but it was getting late, and if the young woman sat next to sam winchester at this diner table any longer she might just knock him over onto said table and screw his brains out._

"hate to break up the party, but i should head home" she announced, smiling warmly. dean's shiny, glazed over eyes sorta met hers, _"aww juuuules! c'mooon, stay a little!"_ he laughed.

 _okay, so dean was a little tipsy._ probably on his way to being drunk. carlton laughed, which caused dean to giggle back, which then caused shawn to giggle. cas rolled his eyes, and sam shook his head.

 _"i can give you a ride? i have the impala keys"_ sam offered. jules hummed gratefully, shocked when sam helped her out of her seat and into the car.

sam hummed along to the music, tapped his long fingers against the wheel, and jules squeezed her thighs together, shoving her hands between them. she bit her lip, wanting to get home faster than ever. the impala rolled up in the parking lot, and the music was turned low.

"thanks for the ride" jules smiled, her chest heaving in a panic as her thighs were squeezed harder. the boy raised an eyebrow, ready to say something, but juilet stopped him.

the woman slid across the bench-seat, staring into his eyes before she roughly kissed him. _much to her surprise, lips pushed against hers a few seconds later._ she let out a loud moan, kissing back harder and climbing onto his lap, careful of the pins and safety-pins in his jeans. her ass hit the horn, breaking up their kiss. she let out a laugh, letting their noses touches as she leaned down over him.

 _"ive wanted to do that for so long"_ she whispered, eyes going wide when she realized she had really kissed the young boy. sam stopped her from moving off his lap, large hands holding onto her sides. _"me too, actually"_

a soft whimper was heard, jules biting her lip again. _sam's hands held onto her face, thumb pads rubbing along her cheek bones._ more rough kissing followed, grunts and moans filling up the car, horn getting honked whenever jules bumped against it.

 _"you. inside the house. right now."_ she growled, grabbing onto sam's shirt and using force to shove him out of the car. she shoved him up the stairs, ripping his jacket off, pulling him down to her height and kissing him hard, finally shoving him down on her bed and jumping on top of him.

sam's fingers pushed her suit jacket off, unbuttoned her dress shirt and pushed her pants off all while their mouths were hard at work. heavy breathing and needy panting fueled the passion. _jules rocked her hips against sam's body, moaning loudly. "uh, uh, fuck me sammy" she moaned._

the boy's shirt was pulled off next, leaving him in his binder and suddenly jules pulled away. _"s-sam?"_ her eyes were confused, the mood always dying right then and there, but sam just shook his head. _"its okay"_ he murmured softly, hands on her bare hips.

_"i promise, its okay"_

warm hands rubbed bare arms, and jules was shuddering again. a pointy nose was brushed against a throat, sam's head was pulled closer, small hands tugging at his hair. _he breathed in her scent, kissing and nipping at her neck._ jules moaned again, light and airy. _rough hands removed the lace bra, whimpering noises next to an ear when the panties were pushed down slowly._

 _turns out sammy's rough, bruised, bloody, tattooed hands felt ten times better on her in real life._ his head was buried in her neck area, hot tongue pressed against her thumping throat, metal nose ring cooling down the heat. her fingertips gently tugged at his ears, her lips kissing along the other before she whispered _"fuck me, sammy. i need you to fuck me"_

she shifted herself, sam's strong arm held her up, her knees bend, feet touching sam's knees over the end of the bed. her strong thighs squeezed under sam's ribs, his face being smothered by her soft fleshy chest. _sam softly growled under his breath when he held onto her soft hips._

_juilet o'hara was thin, but curvy under that tough pantsuit. hips wide, thighs and ass well rounded and firm with muscle and fat. enough to fill sam's hand and plenty to hold onto. his fingers sunk into the soft flesh as his hot tongue dipped lower, moving towards her perky breasts, rock hard nipples resting perfectly to a tip._

the blonde woman let out a gasping moan, throwing her head back, hands buried in sam's dark hair as his tongue swooped over her nipples. he stayed for awhile, sucking on them, letting them soften in his mouth before tugging on them and making them harder all over again. 

their noses touched, jules mouth hanging open as she panted. _the hunter slipped his right index finger between her lips, wiping it on her perfect pink tongue, slowly dragging it off her bottom lip. he repeated the action until his ring finger, dropping his wet hands on her hip._

she moved on his arm, rocking closer to him so she could kneel in front before he held her up over him again. _she closed her eyes, kissing him slowly, brushing her gentle button nose along the shell of his ear._ with a smirk she pulled sammy's left hand away from her body, pulling it away before smacking it hard on her ass.

_sam's eyes widened, quietly laughing into another kiss. jules purred, growling with kinky glee when the winchester finally got the message and spanked her hard enough to slam her naked body into his still clothed one. her face got when she gasped before moaning every single time. sam kissed her, prying open her thighs, entering his wet fingers._

he lapped his left fingers, returning to her lips for more kissing and letting his newly wet fingers drag down jules naked body. her shuddering and moaning was making ripples in her soft skin, moving with every breath.

_"touch me sammy, fuck uuh, yeah, yeah. need you so bad"_

_he fingered her ass harder, pushing wet fingers against her navel, moving down slowly, but the detective was sick of the foreplay, moaning loudly in his ear when she forced his hand down and into her. he laughed softly once more, fingering her from both entrances._

_"mm, sammy, uh, uh sammy. harder, uh"_

her body was shaking. sam was getting smothered in a heaving chest. her left hand in a fist full of binder, her right hand also in a fist full of hair. the moaning got even louder, panting got harder, her voice broke the higher pitched it went, little squeals and whimpers replacing the moans after a minute or two.

sam's body was knocked backwards onto the bed, jules falling on top of him, thighs soaking wet and brrathing tiredly. the hunter relaxed his hold on the woman, shifting her tired body and removing his fingers from inside of her, wiping them on his jeans. _"wow"_ she whispered.

he huffed a laugh, kissing her forehead. she layed a hand on his chest, fingertips touching the binder ever so carefully. _it gave her a new outlook on sam winchester, although what they just did, gave her an ever bigger new look on things._ with a little smirk, she reached down and pulled one of his hands up in the air. he raised an eyebrow at her.

 _"these things? wow."_ she smirked. his face went a hot shade before he burst out laughing. juilet brought up his other hand, rolling over onto her back and wrapping them around her. she studied them, smiling when she felt his nose on the back of her neck and left ear.

the knuckle tattoos were only on his left hand, a small heart above the silver ring on his ring finger. the letter **_j_** in a neat handwriting font, above the heart outline. under his thumb knuckle the name _'jody'_ was tattooed, the name _'donna'_ in the same place on his right hand. his right hand had another small tattoo on the inside of his middle finger, reading _'jerk'._

 _"would you mind if our afterglow was you telling me about your tattoos?"_ juilet whispered. sam moved his hands out of her hold, wrapping them around her body and slowly rubbing her stomach. she shivered at the warmth.

"only if you tell me some secrets too" he finally spoke, although his voice was in a teasing tone.

"only if you tell me why you're so good in bed" jules teased back.

"you just said i was good in bed, a master never tells his ways" sam smirked.

_"hmm, screw the afterglow, round two?"_

_"..... dont have to tell me twice"_

hungover dean winchester would never believe him in the morning, but little sammy winchester finally got the woman of his dreams.


	19. in our sweet little bungalow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shawn and dean have had busy lives for as long as they've known ... a quiet peaceful 24 hours of domestic bliss is needed once a week.
> 
> prompt: what a lazy sunday looks like.
> 
> \- i also totally started this a less than 500 word drabble but i got carried away and now i just want this to be real because i love them, okay? okay !!
> 
> written by h.e.
> 
> warnings: scar mention.
> 
> words: 1,369.
> 
> Posted on September 12th 2020  
> edited september 17th 2020

_sunday was shawn's favourite day of the week._

he and gus had agreed that if there was no cases, and if they werent already on a case, then sunday would be their one day off. at first he'd thought he'd hate it, but a few weeks of this now, _shawn probably wouldnt have it any other way._

it came as a shock to possibly both of them, _but shawn and dean bought a place together,_ and now officially lived together. dean joked about how _goddamn sappy and domestic_ they had become, but after two years of having an on/off thing because of hunting, having a home base seemed _right._ bobby already lived in santa barbara, since he'd been offered a full time job at old senora, and seeing how dean was often in town it was an easy choice.

the winchester's still drove up to sioux falls every now and then, _of course._ jess' parents, jody and donna, were like the mother's sammy never had. _they loved sam, and sam loved them._ so if they needed a rest or if jody called _insisting_ she feed them a huge, good, home cooked meal, the impala was speeding towards sioux falls with no time to spare.

in santa barbara though, sam moved into shawn's apartment, _not that much was in there._ shawn was barely home anyways, but sam loved it. close to bobby's, the psych office, jules' place and shawn and dean's new little place.

 _so here they were._ in a little white bungalow, with a red cobbled roof and teal trim on the windows and doors. with a big backyard, a garden, a deck, a shed and a garage. with flowers under the windows, a small front yard with a gravel path leading to the front porch. the ocean was near-by, the smell of fresh salt water always in the air. 

_every sunday was the same, without fail, and it was perfect._

shawn had always been a morning person, up with the sunrise. dressed, hair in place, smile pure white and happy. dean on the other hand, _was not a morning person._ and would try to sleep until 9 or 10. 

dean would sleep on his stomach, face smashed against the pillow, arms hugging the pillow itself close, lightly snoring. shawn would wake up to that view, push the covers down a little. thick, and deep scars, freckles, and tattoos covered dean's back and wide shoulders. shawn leans over and kisses every single inch of scar tissue, smiling when dean makes a sleepy noise, wiggling under him ever so slightly. the few tattoos that were mangled from scars got extra love, before shawn got out of bed.

_sometimes he stayed in bed longer with the sleeping winchester, but every other sunday was when laundry got done, and that was shawn's favourite chore to do._

the bedroom had their mattress on the floor, pictures, posters and lights covering nearly every wall. dressers and mirror sat near the closet that had nicer clothes, such as suits and jackets in it. the curtains always closed, and the room left in darkness as shawn got dressed.

he'd walk out of the room, close the door behind him. the open space living-room/kitchen/dining-room was across from the bedroom. the bathroom behind the kitchen with the laundry room beside the bedroom and across from the bathroom. shawn didnt cook, _that was dean's thing,_ so he did laundry while dean slept.

everything would be loaded, but just as he'd go to turn the dial, warm hands would be on his hips. soon enough arms got wrapped around his waist, the rough palms pushing his shirt and running up his soft belly. shawn always laughed quietly, tugging his shirt back down as dean's hands traveled further up. _his soft little tummy got squeezed, arms got tighter on his waist, dean's nose brushing his neck before his face would nuzzle in._

messy sleep mused hedgehog hair filled shawn's vision, dean's sleepy muffled voice ghosted across the back of his neck. they'd stay like that for ages, sometimes dean would fall asleep against him for a few minutes, breathing in shawn's sweet pineapple scent, while shawn got dean's deep musky scent. _they worked so well together._

after the dial was turned, dean would be in the kitchen, pots and pans clanking one another. shawn would open the curtains, crack open the windows. _the bright yellow kitchen suddenly got brighter from the sunlight._ dean got the stove going, breaking eggs and letting them sizzle. shawn opened the doors, smelling the fresh air through the screen doors, then started their record player up.

 _he swept the floors, and dean cooked. they ate breakfast on the back deck, talking about the day, different cases and their family._ afterwards shawn would clean the kitchen up, double check their grocery list. dean would brush his teeth, escape to the bedroom to get dressed. shawn got the wet laundry in the basket, changed the record and went to the backyard, dean following him.

 _just like the laundry, the grass got cut every other sunday, and baby got washed._ so as shawn hung up the clothes on their line, dean got the mower out, cutting the backyard quickly, laughing with his boyfriend as they yelled at each-other over the noise. 

the front yard was next, and a lot smaller than the backyard. shawn pulled weeds from the flowerbeds, got the mail, swept the front porch, checked the gravel path. dean continued cutting the grass, checking in on his flowers and the paint on the house and the fence. 

after the grass would be done, the mower was pushed back into the shed. _both of them would check dean's big garden, weeding, watering, and pointing out how everything was growing in._ fresh veggies and fruits were placed in their buckets and taken into the kitchen, where shawn washed them, _after learning how to do so from dean._ and dean would fill buckets with water outside with the hose, grabbing the soap and sponges.

dean, _again_ , showed shawn how to wash the classic car properly, without causing any damage or streaks. shawn usually stuck to the windows, while dean was the one to actually wash the entire car, but the two of them always did this together. _they'd always end up completely soaked from head to toe after a few dozen water-fights._

sometimes their friends and family would come over for lunch, sometimes they had lunch by themselves. _but after having such a busy life 24/7 it was nice just to have a quiet, simple, lazy 24 hours to be a little domestic._ of course, if people did come over, dean was always happy to make a massive lunch that could possibly put any chef to shame.

when the car was washed, they would get changed, let their hair stay flat, close up the house and go grocery shopping. usually they'd go every-other week, just as the other chores, but other times grocery shopping needed to be every week. it depended if something was used a lot, or if something was needed for dean to cook with. 

shopping for _anything_ was dean's _least favourite thing_ , it still was, _but shawn made it fun by acting like an even bigger little child than he usually was._ he'd surf the carts, spin them wildly down the aisles, yell out loudly for people to watch out as he'd roll on by. _and dean had never loved him more._

 _ice-cream was always after grocery shopping, as was a car ride down the coast._ not for long though, ice-cream would start dripping down hands and there was frozens in the back. but when everything was put in the fridge and freezer, fresh smelling clothes were taken off the line, put away and they'd walk down the road towards henry's.

henry had them over every sunday for supper. steak, fish, BBQ - it never mattered, but it was done to perfection every-time. sometimes sammy would join them, sometimes lassie, or jules, or cas. sometimes everyone was gathered for sunday supper.

_yup - every sunday was the same, without fail, and it was perfect._

_sunday was shawn's favourite day of the week._


	20. The last thing you'll ever need

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just realised I'm knicking the 20th chapter, probably should have done something special for it.  
> I know I haven't written in ages, but my cowriter has done an amazing job of keeping up. So thank you :)  
> Enjoy whatever this is, I also accidentally mentioned someone from another verse but oh well.  
> Written by N  
> Words: 513  
> Warnings: mention of suicide and depression, light swearing  
> *Posted on 27/9/20

Head Detective Carlton Lassiter wasn’t okay.   
Hours spent at the shooting range. Hours spent with guns. Hours spent without another living soul.

He had become an amazing detective, everyone saw him as brave, courageous, strong - everything he was expected to be. He was my no means fearless, but he was happy to risk his life for others. 

He wasn’t an easy man to read - it was easier for him to push people away than to watch them get hurt. It didn’t mean he didn’t love people, it just meant they didn’t need to get too close. 

It was easy to lie, everytime something happened in the field Detectives were forced into going to see this shrink. Dr. Cahill seemed nice, but ever the therapist always pushed stuff too far. Lassie didn’t want to talk so it was just a matter of getting through the sessions.

He was a good marksman and a good detective so everything else didn’t matter. It was easy to shield his feelings with a layer of confidence and obnoxiousness. 

His mind tended to wonder. Worst of all when he was all alone at the gun range. Nobody went there anymore, especially not at nights. There was an agreement that Lassiter was allowed on site during off hours.

It used to be relaxing. Lassiter loved his guns so it had always been a bit of fun. Nowadays his thoughts just ran wild. The gun in his hand felt heavier, everything around him just blurring out - it was only him and his gun.

The man towering at almost 2 meters tall had been reduced to a crying mess on the floor. Gun still in hand, he rested his head on the barrel. 

He couldn’t do it himself. Better to go down in a hailstorm of bullets as far as he was concerned. He still felt conflicted - he couldn’t cope like this.

“Please, God, if you even exist, give me an answer” The detective would rather shower with a bear than pray but he had lost his stubbornness. 

A loud fluttering noise came from behind him.

“Hello, Carlton” 

“Jesus Christ” He was taken aback. 

“No, it’s Castiel. I’m here to help you” 

“How did you get here? How did you know?”

“Shhhhh. It’s all going to be okay.”

The angel walked over to the detective and sat down, putting his arm round Lassiter. It was quietly comforting and all he needed. Castiel was all he needed. Just someone to be there, to listen. 

"You're weird, Novak" 

"I don't understand, a lot of people say that"

Lassiter had started to smile. In the pitch black, all he could see was the slight glow that Castiel seemed to radiate. 

"It's a good kind of weird" 

The angel still didn't understand but he believed Carlton was telling the truth. He also couldn't see why he was called, but it didn't matter, he was there. 

"Please don't leave, Cas" 

"I don't think I've ever heard you call me that" 

"Get over yourself" If it wasn't so dark, Castiel would have been able to see him smirking.


	21. My heart is singing, screaming "I'm alive"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One day I may title a chapter with something other than a song lyric.  
> Yes this is literally a crossover between my two verses.   
> I really wanted to write something. And my plan was incredibly different, like monumentally different but I decided that would be way too depressing. I'm still working on it but I decided to do something that also means a hell of a lot to me  
> My original version of this was way longer so sorry  
> Written by N  
> Words: 906  
> Warnings: car crash, blood, binding, hospitals, idk really

There had been a car accident. Some dickhead vampires had been chasing the Winchesters, and of course they had taken the blueberry. The dickheads had already sped away when the brothers spun into the barrier. Dean was unconscious but as far as Sammy could tell he was still alive. He himself was covered in glass shards but could still move everything. His bloody hands fumbled around in his pockets to find his phone. Once he located it, he just about managed to call an ambulance before passing out from the blood, or rather lack of blood. 

After what felt like hours the sirens were unbearably close. From there it was a blur. He remembered being in the back, Dean being hooked up to all the wires and him just sitting there, shaking. 

The older brother was immediately rushed into surgery and the younger brother was alone in the hallway. It lasted hours; busy doctors and nurses kept walking past being brightly illuminated by the strong white lights. 

Finally some nurses wheeled Dean out, Sam tried to follow but could barely stand. The last person to leave was a doctor dressed completely in black but the writing on the shirt couldn't be read by such blurry eyes. 

"Hey there, kiddo. Were you in the car when this happened?" He seemed peculiar, softly spoken but utterly commanding. 

"M-my brother… we were in the c-car" The younger Winchester always struggled with his stutter when he got particularly stressed. 

"Okay well my name is Connor, your brother is stable but he's been pretty bashed up. It was a nasty crash you were in." 

"Y-yeah.. Yeah it was" 

"Can I call someone to come stay with you?" 

"No. I mean, it-it's just me and my brother" 

"Okay well can I get a nurse to come and patch you up?" 

"No, p-please I just want to see my brother." 

"I can't really let you traipse through the hospital covered in blood, just let me get you a nurse."

"No, please I don't want… I don't want them to see" He had outspoke. 

"See what, buddy?" 

"It doesn't matter" 

"Hey, it does, how about I bring you to a treatment room and I can sort you out?" 

"O-okay" 

They slowly walked down a few corridors and ended up in an empty room. 

"Let me help you get your shirt off and we can sort your back out." 

"Please don't" 

"Hey it's alright, whatever it is, it's alright."

The surgeon helped get the shirt off and saw the bandages wrapped round the kids chest. Connor smiled to himself but knew he needed to help out the visibly shaking kid. 

"Hey kiddo, that's alright, I am gonna have to take them off but I'll sort you out something cleaner. I'll have a look what I can find"

As Connor slowly undid the bandages, he instructed the kid to lie on his back. 

"This is gonna sting a helluva lot, but I'll tell you a story while I do it."

"O-okay" Sam was freaking out but still trying to hide it where he could. 

"So I grew up in a pretty messed up family. My mum, well she had her problems and when I was about your age, she couldn't take it anymore. My dad had a reputation, and the family reputation really stood for something. As far as he was concerned he always had two daughters, I could never change that, no matter what I did." Sam flinched as the surgeon started to take out some of the shards. 

"I moved out, got a scholarship into med school and worked my ass off. But after I changed my name and saved up for surgery, that's when I realised that it seriously could get better. Kiddo, you can do anything, no matter how much fighting it takes." Connor finished up the last few bits and put gauze over the worst of it. 

"Right I'm all done with that, gimme a sec and I'll grab you a fresh top and stuff." 

The surgeon returned. "Right I couldn't find any tops that'd fit you but you can have my work hoodie, it might be a little short but it should be okay. I also got you a chest brace - it's what I give to some of my patients for rib injuries but it'll be really good for binding. Be careful and maybe leave it a while so you can heal up. I'm sorry it's not anything better but if you write down your address I'll sort you something out proper."

"Nah, I'm so so grateful for this, we ain't ever had the money for anything like that." 

"It's alright, we all need some help sometimes. Stick all the hoodie on and I'll take you to Dean's room, you can sit with him for a bit if you want."

They followed a path of halls that Sammy would never remember but once he saw his brother it was all okay. 

"Hey kiddo, here's my card. Its got my personal number scrawled on the back. If you ever need anything or just want to chat, then I'm always here."

"Thank you, Doctor… Connor" And with that the surgeon walked back to his office."

Sam felt alright. He was scared shitless about Dean but for the first time in ages: Sam Winchester was alright. 

Even the angel smiled at this. His family were safe, even if they didn't know he existed.


	22. All the lonely people. Where do they all belong?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this instead of writing...well...something else.  
> Intro to my new verse 'Don't Miss' This chapter is repeated on there.  
> Words: 1196  
> Warnings: Well it ain't happy

Carlton was sitting on a wooden bench outside the station. Beat cops kept walking past but they kept their distance - the head detective was not to be bothered. If only they knew. 

He was writing in a beaten up jotters pad. He smiled as he thought about the recipient of the letter. Castiel was the only one who would be receiving a note - he was the only person who deserved one.

It was an explanation that nobody wanted to hear - but surely better they hear something than nothing, right?

The pen glided across the paper is Lassiter’s hand - the words just flowed in a way that felt so natural.

Karen was walking over to the bench.“Carlton, I want to introduce you to a new officer.” The detective stood up just as the new guy walked into him. The coffee that the officer had bought was now covering the Head Detective and the note pad had fallen on the ground.”

“You idiot. What’s your name?” Lassiter was standing bolt upright staring at the beat cop in front of him.

“Mahoney, sir. I’m so sorry, sir.”

“I’ll send you the dry cleaning bill.” 

Carlton turned to walk back to the station, just as the Chief spoke up. 

“Lassiter, your notepad.” 

He quickly turned back once he realised, but it was too late - Karen had already picked it up and cast her eyes over it. 

“Right, Officer Mahoney, if you wouldn’t mind working with Miss O’Hara today - that would be highly appreciated. Carlton and I are just going to go and finish some paperwork.”

“Yes ma’m” The anxious Mahoney replied.

Once they were out of earshot, Lassiter started to speak.

“I assume we haven’t actually got any paperwork to do.” The Head Detective was absolutely terrified but wanted to keep any dignity he had left. 

“No Carlton, let's just get back to my office.”

They walked in silence up to the Chief's desk.

“So, first of all it’s nice to hear that you’ve finally got someone who’s looking after you. Mr. Novak seems like a nice gentleman.”

Lassiter was surprised this was how the conversation began. “Well yes, he wears sensible shoes.” The euphemism was possibly lost in the serious talk they were having.

The chief continued to talk.”This letter explains your plans in quite some depth. Look, Carlton, I know you’re not like my other detectives. You’re hurting unimaginably and won’t let anyone come near you. I can’t with good conscience pretend as though I never saw that. So the question is, what do we do next?”

“Look chief, with all due respect, I can handle myself.”

“You clearly can’t Lassiter. If it was any of my other detectives I would take their gun and badge until I knew they were safe to be back in the field. However, I know that you have a lot of guns and that you need this job. How about we come up with a compromise?”

“Sounds good to me.”

“Okay, I’ve got a friend who works up in LA. She helps detectives going through difficult times.”

“Really chief? A shrink, how’s that gonna help me?”

“Please just try one session, then you can do whatever you want.”

The detective begrudgingly agreed and called the number he was given.

“Hello, I’m Detective Lassiter, Karen told me to give you a call.”

“Ah yes, she gave me a heads up about you. I’m working until midnight so you can get this all over by tomorrow if you want. I’ll be on the fifth floor.”

“Yeah sure, I’ll be there in about an hour.” Even Carlton could see that this might be a good idea.

The drive was shorter than he had expected. He had been in the LA department a few times but never for anything like this.

Lassiter hadn’t been up to the 5th floor yet. He walked along the hallway, looking into each of the offices. It seemed to be mostly lawyers until right at the end where he saw the office he was actually looking for. It was hard to read in the dark but the letters on the door read “Dr. Maureen Cahill”. After knocking and not getting a reply, he was about to turn back around and then he saw a movement on the balcony. 

The detective walked through the office and out the back to a large patio. Once he got closer he saw what seemed to be a woman yelling at a man who was…. Stumbling along a balcony? 

“Riggs get down, this isn’t a joke”

“Ooh who's the new guy?” The man said with a heavy Texas accent.

The woman who he figured must be Dr. Cahill hadn’t realised Carlton was there until that..

“What the hell are you doing up there?” She seemed tired but also not overly surprised.

“Just having some fun” A beer bottle was raised in their direction.

“Come on Riggs”

Carlton finally spoke up. “You really seem insane.” 

Lassiter stepped onto the balcony and grabbed the other man’s arm.”

“Just let me go” The Texan yelled.

“I’m not gonna let you do it. If you go then you’re bringing me with you.” 

“Both of you get down right now!” The doctor was fed up and also startled there were two of them.

“Ohhh, the shrink is getting cross now. We should probably get down?” Riggs had a huge grin on his face. 

“You mean down off the ledge? Which side?” Carlton enjoyed being around someone more crazy than himself.

Riggs turned to face the doctor. “I like the new guy.”

“Just come inside, I need to talk to both of you.”

“We’re in trouble now” Riggs smirked.

Riggs jumped back onto the patio. Lassiter followed more carefully behind. Once they were back inside both men were instructed to sit on the couch.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Martin Riggs.” Dressed in denim and sporting wild hair with a moustache - he seemed peculiar. And the complete opposite of an officer of the law.

“Ahhh so you're the crazy one” 

“That’s me, and you are?” 

“Head Detective Carlton Lassiter” 

“That’s very posh, look at him Doc, a Head Detective” Riggs nodded towards Maureen.  
“Good, we’ve got the introductions done, now can we get into the bigger problem.” The doctor seemed very calm given the situation she just witnessed.

“What problem?” Riggs asked, innocently.

“You were just strolling across a rooftop like it was nothing, which to be fair, for you isn’t that strange. And you Mr Lassiter…”  
“You can call me Carlton, please.” The detective was still trying to make a good impression.

“Well Carlton, you just joined him up there, also like it was nothing.”

“God dammit, I was saving a man’s life.”

“That’s not how it seemed to me, Carlton.”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“Oooh docs got it out for you, Lassie” - Riggs chimed in, smiling all the while.

“I’m not taking this bullcrap” Lassiter stood up and walked straight out the door.

“Sorry doc, I’m going with the new guy on this one.” Riggs winked at the doctor and swaggered out the room.

Dr. Cahill was left sitting in disbelief. There were two of them.


End file.
